Gone from my Sight

Not sure if any of you read the comments in my last piece, but an old friend from High School has a sister with terminal cancer... I have asked everyone to keep her and her family in their prayers....but in the comments, I mentioned a piece that I first heard from my father years ago. I also saw it in a book that "Hospice" dropped off at my grandma's while we were all on "wait." (Danny called it Libbie Watch '08... he seems to find humor in even the soberest of situations.)

I've pasted it below for your view... my apologies for not including the original author.

Gone from My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side
spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and
starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty
and strength. I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where
the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in
mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and
she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her
destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the
moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

*******

Other than the preoccupation I've had lately with the transition to the other side, I must say that my transition back to work has been relatively smooth...

Naturally I've gained weight... (does this post make my front-bum look bigger?) But I went to yoga AND spent a 1/2 hour on the treadmill last night so I should have a 6-pack in no time.

My nephew (the one that lives upstairs) told me "I love you" tonight... well, it was more like "ow-loo"... but i knew what he meant... we kind of have our own language to communicate. I hold out my arms for him to walk/come to me... he walks away and gets his blanket. It's silent queues like this that really lets me know I'm his favourite aunt.

I've got to make preparations for our open house this weekend (Sat, 6:30 - 8:30) ...everyone's invited... if you haven't got directions it means that a) you live out of state (or in SGU) and I didn't think you'd want to come or b) I just don't have your info, so shoot me a message or just give me a jingle and I can hook you up with the info (I'd put it here, but I kind of don't want to put my info on the web). Seriously, if you're reading this and in SLC, most likely, I'd love for you to stop by Saturday night... heavy h'ours d'ovuvers (umm, I can't spell that.)

cheers -
suite

Update

Well, I've had a bit of an emotional shift since my last post... after I wrote the post I was visiting with the Ohio Suite-Smiths who had returned to be with family. Tatum and Max had both fallen asleep watching a movie (they had been up since 2 am SLC time); but it was 1 o'clock or so and I just had the overwhelming feeling that I wanted to be somewhere else. I wanted to be at my grandmas... Even though there
really wasn't anything for me to do there; I just wanted to take in the experience. Danny was skiing, and so I was pretty much flying solo...

I went to her place and by the time I got there, it was less than 30 minutes later that she passed. I was in the room, with other family members by her beside. My mom was cheering her on as she labored for breath... "You can do it, Mom!" my mother whispered to her... and "Love at Home" was playing in the background.

And just before her final breath, she got a HUGE grin on her face... the kind she used to get when she'd see my grandpa.

I can honestly say that I have a huge testimony of eternal families and the life after.... it was amazing!!!


Anyway, a lot has happened since that Saturday a week ago... the funeral service was a week ago Wed. It was beautiful; I almost felt guilty crying because it was such a huge celebration of such an amazing lady.

I am so blessed...

So, I'll get back to the stories and tales of life with Mr. Mangum, but for now, just one more post about an amazing a life changing experience.

Reflections on a Domestic Goddess (and how the enterance and exit strategy to life are so similar)

Hey Kids, Sorry it's been a while since I've checked in... We had our rendezvous in Cincinnatti (sp?) last weekend and while we were out there, we found out my Gandma Lambert (mom's mom) had fallen very ill and they were only giving her a few days to live.

I was fortunate that my work has been super understanding and my team amazing to allow me to spend this last week with her. Hospice had really only given her 3-5 days; and she's now on day 8 ... I'm not praying for a recovery...like President Hinckley, she longs to be with her sweetheart. It's been 12 years since my grandpa passed away. And I can honest say that I know she's going to be so much happier.

It's been so interesting to watch how the circle of life, and plan of salvation, unfolds before our eyes. When we come into this world, we are so reliant on those around us to take care of us... and it seems the same is the case as we leave this mortal shell.

I know this isn't my typical repartee you might have come to expect from "suite spots," but I think it's important to be real in these posts. I've been really reflective this past week...I've spent some time reading my grandma's "spiritual journal" in which she shares that she will probably just end up having a diary as everyday with her beloved Elwood is a spiritual experience. She talked about the laundry and ironing being a "labor of love." And the meals she prepares for the two of them and her family... a day of baking might include 2 chocolate cakes, a couple dozen rolls, some loves of bread and a few pies... she talks about her grandchildren and my mom doing her hair (they had a standing Tues/Fri appointment I think).

There was one entry where she talked about how much she enjoyed the company of a certain friend because "they don'tgossip." I thought that was so awesome, and I could learn a lot...

Suddenly, "Marketing Recruitment" and "Human Resources" doesn't seem so important in the grand scheme of things. I mean, I've made a great career for myself; enjoyed some level of success in corporate america (I've even been published); but it pales in comparison (seems kind of ridiculous for a woman, actually) to be so caught up in something so material (don't even get me started on my penchant for designer hand bags.) I feel so guilty about how shallow I am...

In honor of my grandma yesterday I got up early and worked on the kitchen and our house... I cleaned and mopped and straightened and vaccumed (I still can't spell that word) and thought I would do something nice for my husband and take pride in my home (grandma talked a lot about this).

On Valentines day, I even got up and made Danny breakfast (this has not happened in MONTHS!). Buckwheat heart-shapped waffles with homemade butter syrup, ham, scrambled eggs, and rosemary cheddar potatoes... It felt nice to be "serving doemsticly." I think there's something to this homemeaking thing... I'm thinking it's going to be even more fufilling than a multi-level logistical marketing strategy fused with the principles of sound public relations... yeah, it's going to be way better than that.

So pray for my grandma's release (if it's the Lord's will of course)... she's lived a tremendous life and it would be so cool for her to see her sweetheart so close to Valentines. ;) ssm

East Side Pride

A friend of mine in high school used to say, "Once a cove dweller, always a cove dweller." Well, Danny and I are not exactly “in the Cove”... but tonight, I totally felt "of the Cove."

First off -- I think we're going to get passes at COVE Fitness; which is good news because I got ever so tired of people mistaking me for J-Lo's body double when I was a member of Lifestyles 2000.

Also, I've been shopping at Dan's a lot lately... which is like Millcreek’s answer to a Mormon "Trader Joes." There's a real sense of pride that comes from paying $2.50 for an organic tomato, you know? But seriously, I love that place. It's like policy at the store that if you ask them where an item is located, instead of saying "try isle 12” or something... they WALK you there. Seriously, it's not like it's a giant wholesaler's warehouse and you'll get lost in the place... the entire store is practically the same size as the bakery section of Costco...they just have fabulous customer service… and I love how everyone smiles when you shop there… although, I was having a great hair day yesterday, so that could be it too.

Suburbia is sooo rad… We live within 2 miles of 2 grocery stores… going shopping downtown was such a pain… the parking, the drive… everything seemed to take longer; the irony, eh? I mean, you live downtown to be close to the action; and then one day you wake up and realize that being able to buy Orange Juice a couple of blocks away is a real luxury….

Tonight, I dropped by Smith's Marketplace on 33rd South for some fabric softener, powdered doughnuts and a headphone splitter as Danny and I head for Ohio tomorrow; and we're trying to make it through the entire first season of the OC before next week (we might just accomplish this daring feat). As far as the doughnuts, I felt too guilty to purchase since apparently my body thinks I’m some sort of winter animal that needs to store of reserves in my ace-of-base for the season… ahh, if only a front bum were as popular as self-deprecation, I would be famous.

Anyway, I picked up the Seventh Generation fabric softener with no dyes, totally bio degradable, and then I found myself in the isle with all the Burt’s Bees and hippie-chick lotions... and suddenly I’m paying $2.00 for recycled tissues to blow my nose in, and purchasing chlorine free dye and this eco-friendly dishsoap… (oh well, at least they’re cheaper than a Dan’s tomato.)

I’m feeling all Milcreek-esque, right? I've got this season’s Coach patchwork in tote (thank you husband), sporting a pair of yoga pants and some grapefruit pink Uggs that absolutely fit their namesake (Ugh!) This is the life man…. Now that our rent’s cheaper, we can finally afford to go organic. All I need is a gas guzzling SUV and I’ll look like one of the natives… but no, maybe a Prius or something (did I spell that right?)

And in case my husband reads this (and we don’t keep any secrets)… darling, in case you’re worried about the price-point associated with “GOING GREEN” or in my case (spending our GREEN) you should know that I used our “smith’s marketplace card”… and with the vast savings we incurred from that little number, we can’t afford not to buy!!!!

Playing Catch Up... and Leaving Comments for my Husband

OK, friends from the world wide interweb…
(IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE - COULD YOU PLEASE READ THE LAST SENTENCE OR TWO OF THIS POST!?!?!?!!!)

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the comments on my blog… And I was thinking, “Man are you people validating me!”

At church, our old Stake Presidency (not to be confused with a “Steak Presidency,” which I believe is a trifecta comprised of delegates from Texas Roadhouse, Ruth Chris Steakhouse and Flemmings that meet in a top secret tunnel just west of Orem)… well, the old Stake Presidency said we ought to work on these 4 things for long term happiness (I don’t think they’ll come as a shocker to any card carrying member of the LDSSA), but here goes:

Daily prayer
Daily scripture study
Daily temple worthiness
Daily acts of kindness.

I just want to mention, for those of you who may be struggling with the other three, just know that every time you post a comment to my blog, you’ve done a great act of service… pay it forward, man.

*****
Sooo, I remember when I started this blog, and I just kept writing to an audience of none… But who could’ve ever understand the power of blogstocking?!?!

But seriously, it’s so cool to connect with everyone… and please note, I was totally kidding about “looking down on the world.” We’re renting for like $400 a month… so it’s not like I’m suggesting we’ve got any buying power… But man, if you could pay off a house with love… we’d be set. ;)

*****
Shout outs … soooo, in honor of the comments:

Wicky – so glad you noticed that my husband’s hot… eventually we will take the advice of your husband when you two were procreating (“go two a days”). It worked for our college volleyball team… why not when one is trying to be fruitful and multiply (ps. We’re still under the “Procreate in 2008” mantra… but I’m thinking Fall is a wonderful season for conception…. Btw, does anyone but me feel uncomfortable with this discussion? Ah, let’s Move On…)

Darth Spencer – I still wish we could clone Speaker Pelosi. I will never forget your wisdom… and yes, loved your bit on Freaks and Geeks. And the fact that I have a Facebook account, but apparently that’s lame… makes me feel better about myself. Like the fact that I can’t navigate it, has got to mean more than just showcase my lack of technological savvy. (Steve’s watching American Gladiators upstairs… reminded me of you and Al. Danny says we should think about going as the two of you at next year’s Hallow’s Eve shin dig…. I mean, if we’re invited.)

Mel, C and Holt…and all the other prego ladies in my life: is Juno a fair representation? And yes, to any of you interested in the film… I will see that film as many times, if not more, than I saw 10 Things I Hate About You in the theater (bless Heath Ledger, so sad. So sad.) Um, I just noticed, if you write Mel and the C, it sounds like I’m addressing former members of the Spice Girls.

Charlene – I can’t believe you found me! Sounds like life is on the up and up for both of us… are you still the queen of sassy black boots for Sunday school (I totally recommend those over flashing your thong, any day.)

Em – no your Dad doesn’t know… and I think it was shortly after his reign… I think he had me teaching Relief Society (I could be wrong)? But the women seem to be much more forgiving (as long as the “show” only happens in front of other women).

*****
Roundup
OK, honestly… my fingers are getting tired…

I’ve got part 2 of my shoutouts for later this week.

Wicky’s sister… I am shooting for tomorrow’s yoga class with Scott. I need some seriously charka aligning after the weekend I had… man, Superbowl Party food does a friggin NUMBER on my system…. I’m not sure if you were aware of this; but unlike my sister, I am neither an exercise nut, a runner, an athlete, nor a morning person… I may have been adopted, but I too much of my father’s temperament… so I think I belong to the family. But I’ll try to see you for 5:45 sun salutations. And we’re seeing her, the kids and Wade on Thurs… we’re heading to Ohio for the weekend.)

****
DANNY’s B-DAY
****
OK, here’s the important part… Danny’s b-day is tomorrow… he is going to be a quarter of a century. You should call or email him… I feel weird about writing his personal cell phone here… so instead, I’ll just write his personal email (dannymangum@hotmail.com)…. If you could just shoot him a note of Happy Birthday Cheer*, I would forever be indebted… or better yet, feel free to leave b-day comment on my blog… because then we both win! I get comments (and look uber popular), he gets birthday wishes…

Namaste All…
suite


*Ladies and gents from PARSONS... I am especially talking to you... seriously, you have his work email, and a phone number for the kid. Handle it, my friends!