2018 Holiday Recap

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When people ask if I’m ready for the holidays, my standard answer is pretty much “I’m about two-to-three-weeks behind everything in my life, right now.” I’m not quite sure what happened this past year, and it’s so cliché to say so, but time is really speeding up.

It blows my mind that in just a few months Holden will be a decade. We tried something new for him school-wise to start fourth grade. I joined the board of the Wasatch Family Foundation to get him admitted to Wasatch Waldorf Charter School because their lottery is about a thousand people long and my chances of winning the actual lottery seemed commensurate with getting him in.

The kid doesn’t like change – I mean, who does? He had a teacher in 1st - 3rd at Elizabeth Academy Montessori that he was ready to repeat third grade for "There's still so much I could learn from Ms.Dawn!" So it was kind of a rough start, and I was worried we had made a big mistake: but there’s a lot of good that’s coming from it (and not just that he’s learning to cross stitch.) He's made some great friends. Plus, as part of the Waldorf curriculum he started playing the double bass: it’s about twice his size. And his handwriting is coming along splendidly…so nice in fact, that for Christmas I’m gifting all my family handwriting books to build on his momentum. (Danny included).

Holden’s main passion is Magic the Gathering. Since we figured he needed to be spending more time with kids his age, instead of 20-30 year olds at the game shop for tournaments, he has taken up the charge to introduce and teach anyone willing to listen, to the game. I don’t really “get” it – but I do get that it’s something social that brings people together and how fun it is to share something you love and are passionate about with others.

He started singing lessons with local artist Jeff Smith this past year – and was elated to discover that along with music theory, he would be practicing Queen and Led Zeppelin, amongst other musical geniuses.

While he still skateboards socially (Zoë’s the one who got really into Penny Boarding this past year), his favorite sports are snow skiing and tennis. He’s also taking trampoline lessons in an effort to increase his trick-quota on the diving board for summer next year.

In addition to his MTG obsession, he’s into comics and movies and all types of music. But probably the neatest thing about Holden is his ability to empathize. One quick example was when we were setting up Christmas decorations and he mentioned to Zoë that “Mary should be laying down because she has a lot of pain. She’s happy, but she’s in pain.” I don’t know many nine year olds who are concerned with the birth experience, let alone thinking about how the mother of Jesus actually felt.

I’m really proud of him for the way he thinks about serving and helping others (he wanted part of his Christmas money to go towards the Salt Lake City Mission to feed the homeless). He’s an incredible child with a huge heart and he teaches me so much.

Another big-heart in our family – along with a big personality – is our ZoëBug. She turned seven on the seventh (#golden), but we often say she’s going on 17. When we asked her what she wanted for her birthday and Christmas, she responded: “A karaoke machine, a Teenager Starter Pack and peace on earth.” (Probably in that order.)

Oh, what’s a teenager starter pack you say?

“It comes with black headphones that I can wear around my neck like a teenager. A little player for my music,” she tells us. And then later describes how it has to be a small nano-sized mp3 player because “the big ones don’t fit in my pocket.” And to round off the starter pack… “And like $300 for music.”

We. Were. Dying.

I know they’re learning about money in first grade, but I’m holding onto the idea that $300 is probably about the same in her world as $25 (because that’s what she got to go towards music and seemed elated.)

Z is also a fearless skier. She doesn’t like to turn – she just likes to haul down the mountain fearless and stop when it’s convenient (for her.) She also started singing lessons this past year and has already had two performances and seems to adjust to the spotlight quite easily. I love how she gets more animated each time she’s on stage. Her teacher is super patient, as Zoë often has her own ideas of what she’d like to do – but thankfully is always steered in the right direction (though it often takes treats.)

She’s planning to play soccer again in the Fall – and is improving in the sport as well. When we brought to her attention that everyone on the team gets tired, it was a bit of a game changer and she realized she needed to try A LOT harder.

She loves music and math, and I pray everyday that she’ll keep her love of STEM through her teenage years. Not surprising, she’s a fiery little activist as well. And is still wondering why congress has not adopted her idea of putting bears in front of gun shops “so bad guys can’t get guns.” I applaud her outside-the-box thinking.

She’s our little cuddle-bug. She loves hugs and cuddles and more cuddles…just don’t touch her hair without her permission. And she would want me to share that she doesn’t like My Little Pony or Princesses… “and how come boys think girls can only like pink?!?!” she said over breakfast. I don’t know Z – I’d probably blame the patriarchy. ;)

And that is not the best transition to Danny, but it will have to do. It’s hard for me to write about Danny because I want to brag about what my family members are passionate about. So if Danny was “living his best life,” as opposed to working full time, or dealing with the pile of laundry I ignore, or meeting the Dryer repair man because I’m at a tennis match… or a myriad of other things, I could rattle off better stats about him. I imagine it would look something like: “Danny was able to dedicate hundreds of hours this past year watching college football, and managed to join Dan Patrick for ribs (that he never had to touch with his fingers) and a few guest segments on his show this past year. Sabrena joined him often for Crossfit WODs and cooked meat and vegetables multiple times a week. And not once this year did he have to wake up with an alarm for the day.”

But alas, that’s wishful thinking.

He did workout a lot – but I only joined him for a WOD once. He did watch a bunch of College Football, but could’ve enjoyed more. If he wants to eat animal protein for dinner it means he probably cooked the meal or we’re eating out. (Whoops!)

But he totally should get Husband and Father of the Year. The truth is, all the volunteering and fundraising I’m doing would not be possible if Danny didn’t take a key role in being the taxi-driver and keeping parity in our home. There’s no "husband’s job," or "wife’s job" – there’s just work to do, and care to be provided, and every year we spend together he seeks more actively to serve where there’s a need. I’m so grateful.

He joined the Discovery Gateway children’s museum board (again), and is also going to take over a bunch of my fundraising responsibilities for the foundation so I can focus on some other things.

He took up pickleball, is playing more tennis with me (date nights!) and hit all his professional goals for the year (going on ten years with Mountain West Small Business Finance in 2019!)

He makes us laugh everyday and is totally the kids’ favorite. His temperament and patience level is much more suitable for parenting than yours truly. But I count that as a blessing, not a strike.

Because I have a husband who manages so much of the emotional labor of running a household (did I mention he drives Zoë to school everyday and runs neighborhood carpool twice a week?!?!), I get to do things like play a lot of tennis and do a lot of volunteer work (oh and work. Yes, I’m still running my own business as a public relations consultant and freelance writer, but that’s just to help offset the cost of my tennis obsession.)

We’re celebrating a year anniversary of Pillows forPrisoners, and will donate another 400 for this holiday season thanks to the support and donations of so many of you (you can still contribute! It’s never too late.) I also volunteer to teach yoga at the jail – and it’s been a good way to connect with the women on a different level. Politics took up a bunch of time as well. We hosted as house party for Sheriff Rivera, who has been a huge help with the Pillows project and has an incredible story herself.

Mostly, I’m just trying to save the world and raise children who recognize the privilege we enjoy: and use that to help others. (And also eat really good food, and play a lot of tennis.)

This holiday season we’ll be reflecting on a refugee family from more than two thousand years ago—forced to flee their homeland for fear of persecution.  We’re making space, trying to treat others and fill our hearts with the same love and compassion Jesus Christ had for all those around Him.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays – however and wherever you’re celebrating.

Sabrena for the (Suite-)Mangums

This weekend, and what didn’t show up on my iPhone...

 Getting a late start on our road trip to Upstate Utah – but stopping in Ogden for beignets and waffles at Pig in a Jelly Jar on Historic 25^th Street, and then heading to Scruds for milkshakes where Holden climbed up to the bar and proclaimed: “We’re not here for beers or alcohols!”

I didn’t snap a photo of the kids arranging flowers for their two “Greats” and Grandma Stevie, or cuddling with Holden in his bottom bunk-bed as we whispered Math Facts into the darkness.

We ate meals around a giant table with four generations present and I watched Holden escort his Great Grandmother to the table and then (with no prompting from adults) watched him pull out her chair kindly and proudly.

She later would tell him about her Mother driving a car pregnant – and he would listen… and then later in a quiet moment to her reflect and remark “It must be hard having your husband gone.”

Zoë would make pictures for the Greats – with pictures of pianos, soccer, and flowers with petals leaves and pollen.

We would jump on the new trampoline – play ‘crack the egg’ and roast smores on the gas fire pit at “The Barn.”  We found pauses in the rain to shoot hoops and walk along the river with Danny’s parents while the kids rode bikes and stopped to look at a tree, a poinecone, smell some flowers or in Holden’s case – discover a snake.

When we stopped at the park he was convinced he found tadpoles – his Grandma and I thought they were a lichen on the river’s rocks, but on closer inspection they were actually some form of worm.

We made it back to The Barn. Holden leading the way and not complaining once about hauling his bike up the hill.

The rain would return but  that wouldn’t stop Zoë from her time on the tramp. At one point, the kids jumped nonstop for almost an hour.

We cuddled. We read stories. Holden started The Jungle Book with his Grandma while I finally got a shower. Danny tried to watch baseball. We all had naps – except Holden. He worked on art projects and spent time drawing comic books and working on art projects.

Stevie and I moved in synchronicity on food prep. Some how bobbing and weaving but not having to say much to one another and she mastered  the grill and we produced massive amounts of food for another meal before catching the Derby race.

The next morning Danny presented me with a flowery card that included purple butterflies. I saw it an immediately knew he had;t picked it out. “Where did you get this card?” I said, chuckling. “Zoë insisted you loved purple butterflies,” he said. He didn’t have to, but I loved we were both in on a secret joke – that was more sweet than silly.

We’d head to Snowbasin for brunch with 15 other family members. And still, I didn’t have my phone for pictures. I was just still taking it all in.

On the ride home, the Great Gradmas would join us, and before the kids settled into games on their electronic devices, Holden suggested we play the “Movie Game” where we’d recite lines from films and the rest of the car members would try to guess where they came from.

After that, the Greats shared a bit about what life was like before television – or even radios in Marion’s case. Holden wanted to know what football was like in Barbara’s (“G.G’s”) day and the most popular sports that Marion (“Nana”) enjoyed.

I thought a lot about my own Mother over the weekend (who is traveling overseas.) I thought about my Grandmas and my sisters. 

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes I also think, it’s better to leave the camera-phone behind.

Z's 2015 Quoteables

My kids don’t spend much time or energy talking before they’re three, but once they start there’s plenty that cracks us up. With Zoë – her loudest language is really her style of dress…never less than three shades of pink when she’s styling herself and at least two or three pattern choices. Still, she’s had a few quotables that are approaching, if not rival, and Holdenism we’ve been blessed to hear.

"I am PinkCake Girl - I save da day."

Looking through the (ugh) princess book she checked out of the library, she says: "Mom, when I

drowe up I'n going to wread Rwiddle Mermaid."

Me: "It's a pretty anti-feminist piece Zoë. A girl gives up her voice for a pair of legs for a man she's never actually met and falls in love with him because he's good looking."

Holden: "And she left a pretty good life to do it."

Me: "Exactly!"

Z: "But Mooooom, when I grow up I want to."

Me (caving): "OK, but just make sure you've read the 'Feminine Mystique' first. Deal?"

Z: "O-tay! Deal!"

And then we shook on it.

Quotes of the night from Zoë and we've only been at the hockey game for 5 minutes:

"Mom when I grow bigger I'm going to hockey."

Followed shortly after with "that's gotta hurt!"

“You do the honors.” Basically anytime she doesn’t want to put anything away or put on her own socks or shoes.

"Mom, I really want to get into geometry."

After hearing her bed will need to be made AND her teeth brushed before she can watch Netflix: “I’m doomed!”

Happy Mother's Day to Me, ZoëBug

Thanks for the darling (early) Mother's Day present, Z. This year, I'm trying something different and writing letters to you nd Holden about why I love being your mom.


There are so many reasons why I love being your Mom, Z. But here's the first three that came to mind:

You're Strongwilled and Driven
Forget having to be worried about you being a doormat or not having a spine. It was apparent in your not-so-terrible two's that you knew what you wanted and wouldn't hesitate to do what it takes to get it. You don't let gender or size be any indication of who should be in charge.

When brother is doing something -- it's what you want to do. Be it piano, soccer, riding a bike or going to school. You'll find a way to make it happen. (Even though you're "done" with soccer by the third quarter -- you are only three!)

You're Fearless (with reason) 
You've been a climber since you could walk. And you set an example of "how-to" at the climbing gym for Holden every time we go. With few exceptions, you don't get yourself higher than you can get yourself down...and even as a toddler, learning to navigate playgrounds you had a keen spatial awareness of what ledges to stay away from and how to be safe.

I'm not saying you never fall, or get hurt. You totally do. But you're tough. And you don't let an accident get in the way of getting what you want. Last week when you fell 7feet on the playground trying to grab the zip-line; you cried and said "I want to try it again!"

You've learned to ice-skate and taken snowbording lessons -- and Dad even took you skiing (because you have to be four at Snowbasin for skilessons).

You're My Little Nursling
When your brother and I failed to have the breastfeeding relationship I had hoped for the two of us, and I found out I was pregnant with you, I committed at that moment to God that if He would help me be able to breastfeed you, I would let you self wean. Well, at three-and-a-half, it looks as if you may finally be finished. It hasn't come without challenges: a few bouts of mastitis, a nursing strike from you and obviously countless naysayers & critics (friends, family and strangers) because of our choice to keep nursing. We don't care. We connect and what we do has absolutely nothing to do with them...

It didn't happen because you never had chocolate milk, or because you're not independent... it just happened because you kept wanting too --even with me taking a week long cruise to Caribbean. You just weren't ready to let go of the connection -- and it's been a special part of our relationship.

Thanks for helping me see I could really "do it."

I love you for these and so many other reasons. Thanks for being my little Zoe-bug.

Love- Mom

Three Year Old Pectoralis Majors

Our laundry room is directly adjacent to the playroom... that hardly ever gets used unless friends come over -- my kids thankfully prefer our Art & Science room to the toys. (They also prefer watching shows to a myriad of other things, so don;t think I'm trying to brag or anything).

But today, the proximity of play-to-laundry-room provided a conversation I really wanted to document.

Between two three year olds....

A: Hey Zoë-bug, do you want to play dress ups? (She's clad in an awful peptoAbysmal pink number I caved and got for Z for her birthday last year.) You want to be a princess?

Z: No, I be Spider-man!

A: You don't want to be a princess?

Z: No, I be SpiderMan. He fight bad guys.

A: SpiderMan is a bad guy?

Z: No he shoot webs. He fight bad guys.... Oh I help baby crying.

A: Well I'm a special Aurora. I have a bow.

Moments pass. And then Z's friend, points to the built in chest muscles of Z's Spiderman suit.

A: You have boobs.

I interject, "They're called pecs... they're chest muscles."

Z: I have pecs.

A: I have pec muscles too.

Z: No you don't have pecs.

A looks down, realizing there there is nothing resembling pecs or boobs on her outfit.

A: Well I have muscles, but not pec muscles. (Flexes her biceps). But I have muscles without pec muscles.

They both seemed to think this was a fair assessment and SpiderMan and Aurora lived (somewhat)  happily ever after (well, at least through the playdate).

Happy Earth Day

Make Your Own Luck with Yoga

I am honored to be one of seven hosts for this month's #MakeYourOwnLuck :: #MYOLYogis Challenge on Instagram (my handle is @shaktisuite in case you want to follow along).

The challenge is sponsored by MonkeyG Yoga Clothing and Hugger Mugger (a yoga mat & supply company). Both Local!!! The challenge features a daily pose meant to build up to handstand / inversions: with range of motion and flexibility poses alternating with strength poses.

 Check out my feed on Instagram for details and instructions on how to do the poses if you're new to the groove. So what say you, care to play along?

Day 1: Downward Facing Dog: August 2013

Day 2: Bow Pose w/ Zoe : August 2013

Photos from last summer's photoshoot at We Are Yoga SLC. Photo creed to my sweet friend, fellow Yoga Mama and Cicely's sister-in-Law Aly Sharette. 

Zoë Turns Two

Favorite Things:

Mickey Mouse (and Minnie, but Mickey more).... She calls him MeeMee. 

The Utes, specifically University of Utah Football: She'll pump a fist in the air meaning "go Utes" whenever she spots a logo. 

Butterflies: She's two, and a girl...really no explanation needed. 

Spider-Man: I think this is her brother's influence. But it's definitely one of her favorite superheroes (IronMan's pretty close though). 

Yoga: she will carry my mats up and down the stairs for impromptu sessions. 

Favorite Places: hands down The Little Gym (videos coming soon). I had no idea how much she would enjoy it... I may have a bit of Mommy guilt for not taking Holden there as a toddler (it's much better suited for my children than story time at the Library -- and yet, I tried so hard to make that one "work.") we had her party there and it was sooooo worth it!!! She loves singing the hello song with shakers, walking on the balance beam (with a 'spot' from mommy), hanging on the rings and the bars (on the latter she can pull her feet up to touch her hands while hanging upside down), doing forward rolls (aka somersaults), monkey climbs on the parallel bars, letting the bubbles touch her toes and playing drums with her hands for the goodbye song at the end of class. 

Some of our favorite words of Z:

Milkkkkkkkkagh - said like she's German 

Mam: How she says Mom.

Daaaaaad! Usually yelled down the staircase in the mornings for taking a shower. 

Den (for Holden, though recently Ho!) 

Welf - short for "I'll do it myself." Used for putting on pull-ups, pants, getting in the car, putting on shoes and pouring her own drinks. 

Still nursing at 2, and not showing any real signs of slowing down. While there are plenty of moments when I wish she'd wean, there are far more that I'm thankful for that I can still use the mama's-milk-magic-trick: it has the ability to calm a upset toddler in 0-5 seconds. And I often joke my kids are walking Petri dishes so I'm thankful for the immunity it gives them too. 

Z's not a big talker, there are 19 month olds with more words than she has, but if she's anything like her brother somewhere between 2-3 she'll start narrating the world in long-form-essay (seriously he can talk/tell stories for 90 minutes straight - easy). 

But back to Z: she has a bit of 'stranger-danger.' Especially with males under the age of 12; but has an awesome relationship with her two grandpas. She loves to be held by them, sit on their laps, and loves to say their names. 

She'll tell you her favorite restaurant is "The Dodo." And she's a great eater (yes, even with her nursing -- it's not so much for nutrition as it is for comfort and connection anyway). Some of her favorites: pico and pinto beans from Cafe Rio. Most fruit: grapes, strawberries, raspberries and bananas in particular. She's a huge fan a noodles - what 2yo is isn't? And she loves juicing with me in the mornings: beet juice where we include apples, carrots fresh ginger and like juice. She drinks it and looks like Batman's nemisis "the joker." 

She's working her way towards being diaper-free: and it's been mostly her bidding (although I could do without her insisting on crawling on top of public toilets by her-welf. Eek!)

She's got amazing hair that's never been cut and requires beig wet AND my Aveda conditioner to get a comb through it. She doesn't love bows in her hair - try last 2-3 minutes althought she did keep a pony tail once for a few hours (she had not been in the shower and I needed to hide the evidence of four rats-nest that were her tresses.) 

She has amazing blue eyes, loves to move her body and is now in the 82 percentile for weight at 29 pounds (she dropped almost a pound since her 18mo check up) and is still in the 90's for height. 

We love you Zoë-bug. 

Love these Little Yogis!

I'm teaching Yoga Playdate at We Are Yoga SLC today (thurs 4:15)... There's an adult class that runs at the same time... So the whole fam-damily can get their OM on. 

Hope to see you there 2065 east 2100 so in Salt Lake City.

Zoë is 18 Months Old! A few things we love about her...

OK Zoe-bug. It's your time. I tweeted and posted on fb about you, but never did an official round up for your 1st birthday! Our Christmas Letter was the closest I came, but most of it is dedicated to your brother's musings (sorry sweet child).

The first things that come to mind when I think about you:

• climber - the other day you did multiple rounds of chair, to table to kitchen counter top. Oi vey. 
• Nursling (who knows how long we'll last?)
• awesome laugh
• loves dresses
• obsesses about EVERYONE's shoes (and wants to put them on) 
• Loves the water: you'd take three baths/showers a day if we'd let you.  
• Swims with your 'floatie' life jacket - and you can jump off the diving board by yourself. (Boating this summer is going to be epic with the kids)
• Good listener... and you even know how to mind. 
• You likes CLEAN PANTS - and are pretty good at using the potty when given the opportunity but are not diaper free (yet). 
• You're Our Little Yogi: love to down dog on anyone's yoga mat. 
• Love to Dance. 
• Love your big brother -- officially started sharing a room with him last week, and you even sleep in bed with him (well, you start out the night sleeping with him...)
• ORAL FIXATIONS: Play Dough, Chalk, pennies, legos... pretty much anything that's a choking hazard you STILL like to put in your mouth. 
• Digs Tutu's and Handbags
• Great eater: from onions in pasta sauce to green chilies in dips: not much for animals though (I don't blame you!)
• Like to be cuddled and held
• Will go  anywhere in "the pack." (Technically the Ergo, and primarily on my back but you're also a big fan of the stroller). 
• Learning to "jump" and can balance on one foot. (Makes sense since you've been walking since you were 10 months old!)
• Love your Daddy - snuggles, games and are (more often than not) devastated when he leaves for work (or at least you acts that way). 
• Favorite word is "yeah." 
• You love your Grandparents...and you have a special relationship with each of them. It's pretty awesome to watch. 
• Favorite Foods: Blackberries, blueberrries and strawberries (pretty much any kind of fruit really). Grilled cheese sandwhiches. Pasta with home made marinara... black beans and rice, oh and you TEAR UP pizza.

Things Zoe Bug is not into: 

• Sleeping 10 hours straight... {due to my recurring breast issues (engorgement and multiple rounds of mastitis) from Z sleeping through the night at a very early age (6-8 hours at 2 weeks!); I started waking her to nurse at night more often. I then became the human nighttime pacifier, and have yet to wean her from her quick few 'sucks' at night and then back to sleep. Since we are a co-sleeping family, it was just easier than getting up at night to pump or having to take antibiotics because I have soooo much milk. (yes I'm a cow... In a past life, I'm pretty sure I was a Wet Nurse).}
• Potatoes: maybe if you sneak a french fry from your brother or someone's plate, (but out side of that neither of my kids are into pommes de terre... doesn't matter if they're baked, boiled or mashed.) You don't want them. 
• Keeping darling head bands and bows in your hair -- but with amazing curls like yours, they're not really necessary. 
• Your 'size' of clothes. {Zoe is currently sporting 3T tops and bottoms with primarily 4T pajamas. She's been 97 - 100 percentile since she was about a month old. Her check up is in a couple of weeks... should be fun to see where she is.}

A few other words about my darling girl:

 Everyone thinks she's older than a year and a half; and not just because of her size (though she is starting to 'thin out' a little bit.) She's got a maturity to her that is so different from her brother. I've signed her up for a gymnastics class 20mo - 36mo starting in a week (I figure she's old enough since she turns 20 months during the session... albeit she turns 20 months the last week of the session, but still.)  She seems more ready to me for this class than Holden was at 36 months! In fact, I kept him in the mommy and me portion until he had started preschool. She just 'gets' things... she eats with utensils and prefers to drink out of a cup (not a sippy cup mind you, a cup... even if she's not great at it). 

She's definitely got more of my coloring (even if her hair is getting blonder by the day). Her tan lines are as adorable as the Coppertone Baby. 

So final words for you my sweet darling:

I wanted you so bad. I told everyone I didn't care if you were a boy or a girl, but secretly, I ached for you to come and be a part of our family. I wanted you to be a girl so bad! My mother is one of my best friends in the entire world and I hope we have a relationship as amazing as mine is with Mama Suite. I love how you surprise me with some new trick each day... I love how you explore and the world is so magical. I am torn between wanting time to freeze you in this amazing stage, trying to live in the moment and thinking about how things get more fun with you each day. (Consequesntly, this is also why I have cleaning ladies... life is too short for me to be cleaning all the time. And I would be, because let's face it... you and your brother are kind of like Tazmanien Devils when it comes to the house.) 

I love you so much Zoe. Your birth was a miracle and one of the single most spiritually astounding experiences I've ever had. Your life is a gift to our family and we're so glad to have you here!