Before the Birthday Month Ends...

I just wanted to make sure I had this moment from 2/1/11 accurately documented.

Kids Yoga - The Video Spot

So I've got the link to Saturday's Yoga Segment on Fox 13. I must say, not my finest video spot (remember I used to speak to the press for a living?) I seem to have lost my edge. But if you're still inclined, you can watch it here.

I was a little distracted.

I brought my Mom to watch Holden, thinking he might do a Down Dog or balance in his "Flamingo" (which he does, in front of the standing camera so you can't see it)...I wasn't expecting him to cooperate fully; but I thought maybe, just maybe, he'd give the camera a little Namaste bow, or something like that. But as you can see, he spent most of the time wandering around in front of the cameras, and then trying to mount his cousin Max in Savasana.

Also, about the time Tamara (the news anchor) asked me about the yoga class I was going to be teaching today at Discovery Gateway, Holden pointed to me in one of the television monitors and yelled "MOM!" Because I was on TV, naturally... and obviously it's way more exciting to see your Mom on TV, than say, in real person standing right behind you. (Does this say something about our family's media policy?)

Anyway you look at it, I was -- to say the least -- a little distracted.

My Mom said she didn't want to grab him because she didn't want him to yell; and the camera people obviously loved him. But I couldn't seem to form complete sentences or thoughts. This often happens to me as a mother -- not speaking coherently -- even when I'm not on TV with my toddler.

But my niece and nephew did awesome. I was so proud of them. And Holden is just so friggin' cute... in fact, here he is practicing Savasana (Dead Body pose) at church a few weeks ago.

As a side note, this has only happened once

(Holden falling asleep in the pew as a toddler);

but let me assure you it was every bit as good as I imagined it would be.

Why You Should Listen to Me

Actually, you shouldn't.

I'm not qualified to give advice about ANYTHING.

I'm not crafty.

My house isn't feng shui'd (I don't even know how to make that word a verb).

I write with way to many typos.

My blog isn't even a REAL one (you know what I mean).

I don't have a degree in early childhood education. If memory serves, I got a C+ in my "Child Development Class" at UVU, at barely passed "Family Relations." However, I did ace "Survey of International Terrorism," and quickly changed my major to Political Science.

I eat way to many treats (so I can't dole out nutrition advice).

I haven't renewed my Sierra Club membership in years so the GREEN movement won't call me their own.

I only made it four months nursing and then had to pump the remaining eight months. (A failure of a breastfeeding mother I was...)

My kid has been EC-ing for over 18 months and he's still not diaper free.

The most I've ever run barefoot-barefoot is five miles... everything else is with socks, or vibrams... or some other form of barefoot-cheating.

I've never even been to India or lived in an ashram. So am I really even a yogi?

Actually, yes...I am. And I still wouldn't consider me an expert about anything; but I will say that I do love yoga. And I love Holden practicing yoga. And I'm going to talk about Kids Yoga and the things I love about it tomorrow on FOX 13 news at 8:30am (give or take a few minutes).

So you don't need to listen me; but I do invite you to watch. . .

I could be Hot too -or- Beyonce in my Water Closet

Yesterday was a day of cleaning... no seriously, I got one of those Screamin' Daily Deals (kind of like Groupon) for three hours of cleaning; so of course I spent the entirety of Tuesday morning (and most of Monday) trying to get my house ready for the cleaners. Sounds a bit ridiculous right? But I didn't want to waste their time with rearranging my piles of junk when they could be scrubbing my toddler floors and potty training bathrooms (ick).

My point is, come see my house today because it will never look like this again... scratch that' if you don't get here by dinner-time all bets are off.

No, my real point is, what I did is not glamourous. And while Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" was playing in the background (I had my 'marathon running mix' on); I stared thinking how hot she looks in that Deja-vu video, and how luscious that woman is... all those fans blowing her hair and her getting more bounce to the ounce and curves going crazy (literally)... perfectly chosen designer 'outfits,' perfectly choreographed moves and not so much as her eyeliner smugged (unless it's done on purpose).

She's like a Kings of Leon song ("Your Sex is on Fire") perfectly packaged to make people like my husband salivate (ok me too); but more importantly, (and while most likely NOT her intent), to make people like me feel frumpy.

But then it dawned on me, I could look hot too if I had millions of dollars behind me -- dressing me, 'fanning' me perfectly, photoshopping my wobbly bits...and don't even get me started on making time for working out. This woman's body is part of her 'brand.' I'm doing my best just trying to lose baby weight and get an endorphin rush to stay off Paxil.

Sure nobody's paying money to watch yours truly--the un-single lady --put her hand up in a cup (so to speak) or get Bootylicious. And the only 'fanning' I'm getting in Mommyland are ceiling fans and in our loo (not so fabulous).... but I'm pretty sure the MTV machine could even make this mama look like hot sex on a platter.

But better yet, I just think about how glamourous Beyonce would look scrubbing my toilets. Fan optional.

Danny Turns 28

So I was thinking, Danny turns 28 on the 5th of this month--what if I posted my Happy Birthday Blog to Danny, in the same fashion as i did for Holden... I think it would sound something like this:

I can't believe how fast time flies! It seems just yesterday I was looking at you and thinking "he's way tooo young for me to date; but he's super cute; and it's a free meal so I am open to whatever the universe has in store."

Seriously, here you are, at our wedding... not looking a day over 19. I'm such a cradle robber. ;)

Favorite foods

Sadly for the most part you prefer processed to home made. In fact, some of the biggest compliments I get from you would be when you say things like "these home made cinnamon rolls [that took me 4 hours to make] are almost as good as Rhodes bake-n-serve!"

You love pizza... Papa Johns is your favorite; but you're pretty good at tearing up my home made variety of a Margarita. (If I cheat and use white flour and a tsp or two or sugar in the dough, you like it waaay better than my whole wheat sinker variety.)

You don't think soup qualifies as a main course...even if it's cream based. (Craziness!)

Hobbies & Such

You seem to be getting along really well with the kids at the MWSBF playground.

Sports

Holden has you watching way too much Sports Center; but it's hard to say no. You love Softball season the best and have recently started working out diligently with a personal trainer. Your biceps are back...and even though one might expect my politics to dictate otherwise, I would like some tickets to the gun show.

You are a great athlete. You love to ski, and are great at it (even though you don't get to go much anymore).

You are a creature of habit -- which I find comforting, because you're willing to try new things. And your predicability makes me feel more wild and crazy than I really am -- and I need that.

On the EC front

Like Holden, you are doing so well with your POTTY-ing! You pretty much always put the seat down after yourself -- huzzah! So feng shui of you, Danny.

Other thoughts

You have the world's greatest smile...it melts my heart when you are genuinely happy about something. And I love to hear you laugh. Especially the one that sounds like there is something mischievous going on underneath the chuckle.

You love looking at pictures of, and reading about, other people's lives (especially on fb). I am glad it has moved from your TMZ addiction to at least people we know... but you never really update your own status on fb or twitter. (We are kind of opposite that way).

You tell great stories.

You have the patience of Job and you are really good at sharing.

You listen to what I would qualify as pretty crappy music packaged for the masses...but since I am no longer a subscriber to Spin or RollingStone and don't hang out at Kilby Court anymore, I don't really know what would be worth listening to anyway (although, I'm pretty sure if i asked the hipsters at Estes pizza, they'd set us on the right course).

You are always well behaved when Holden is babysitting you...

I love you.

Plummeting to our Bounce House Demise -or- Death by PlayDate

Today was almost the end.

Death by Bounce House - what a way to go.

No seriously, I took Holden to "Bouncin' off the Walls." We are in a play group, that we never really go to; but Hot Courtney was in charge this month and I adore her; and I think socialization opportunities are good for Little Bits because play-dates are much different than Story time / music time / yoga time. I mean, I don't want to over schedule him...but...but, I'm getting away from the point.

ANYWAY:

So Hot Courtney is in charge of the neighborhood play group calendar for February. She plans the play-date for Bouncin' Off the Walls... a place with bounce houses and blow-up slides GALORE; and on Wednesdays it's just five-bones for kids up to 5 yrs old....and ONLY kids up to five from 10am-1pm.

BRILLIANT! I think. Holden loves jumping, and there won't be big kids to kill him. THis sounds PERFECT (and parents play for FREE!)

Huzzah!

So we trek out to Sandy; use the Garmin (of course) because 90th and 94oo south are soooo confusing once you're west of the Freeway...and we proceed to get our bounce on.

Of course he wants the slide... and not the small one: the 25 foot, two-and-a-half story slide that requires oxygen and a sherpa to get to the top. But we make it.

It's awkward; and I suddenly think that I probably didn't need to do any cardio this morning because my legs were tired just from hauling my darling 30-pounder to the top.

We slide.

We slide some more.

At one point, a mommy (we'll call her *Mommy A) from the group points to her little 2 1/2 year old daughter making her way to the top to slide by herself (it's her first time without mom.) We can't believe her BRAVERY!

Holden and I make our way back up to the top where another Mom (Mommy B) from playgroup is with her darling 20 month old daughter waiting for their turn.

At this point, I should mention that in our past slides I made the following observations:

A) First off, it seemed so odd to me that there was no one there to 'ref' the flow of people on the slide. No management telling people when to go or not go... just a free for all of bodies, moms/dads, toddlers and preschoolers sliding to their hearts content.

B) The slide did not seem to have the same structural integrity of the some of the other pieces. It seemed like it needed a little more air -- if you know what I mean. I even noticed a giant hole at the bottom with air seeping out of it; that made me think what a waste of energy...

But both of these were fleeting points in the back of my mind... much like when I notice someone chose an odd outfit to wear. I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it; it's just there and it passes...

But I digress.

So Mommy B and I are at the top of the ginormous slide and the entrance seems bottlenecked. Some of the kids have decided they don't want to go down just yet -- which is fine, but as they are waiting, more kids are piling up behind us; and Mommy B can't get to the other side of the 'start line' to get her daughter situated to go down the slide.

So we are stuck too.

And as we're waiting for the other kids to go, more children are piling up behind us in line and start climbing over one another to get their turn... since 5-and-unders aren't really known for the their patience (or regard for queue etiquette.)

So with all the kids piling up, the launch zone for the slide begins to tip, so no one can get to the point to go down. The kids in the front now have no chance to go down because they're suddenly bunched in the corner by the side...all the while, each new child that bottlenecks on the steps or crawls over another to get his/her 'turn' means more people cramped into the corner and the 'platform/launch/starting point' is now at a 45-degree angle and no one can move.

I'm holding Holden in my arms because it's chaos... and at about the precise moment I think "this thing is going to tip over... no that's not possible"...

It happens.

It implodes.

The corner falls over and two adults and some 10 -15 kids plummet two-and-a half stories to the ground.

SCREAMS - YELLS ... and an erie free-fall follow.

I have Holden in my arms and turn in my shoulder to brace him from the impact. Fortunately, it's absorbed in my shoulder and what air is left in the blow-up death slide.

Moms are screaming and yelling:

"GET THE KIDS OUT! GET THE KIDS OUT!"

I am trying to get my bearings and parents are trying to yank kids out from under the blown-up-yet deflated mess. Holden is in my arms and Mommy A yells that her daughter is underneath someone.

Some how I hand Holden to an adult (at which point I think he starts crying because everyone is screaming; and I have just passed him off to hysterical strangers)... but I'm trapped underneath toddlers and preschoolers, so I can't really move and I look down and there's a little pink mess at my feet. I grab the girl and hand her off. And hand off some other kids. And Mommy B is handing me kids as fast as I am handing them to the parents standing outside of the slide.

"GET OUT! GET OUT! WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO KIDS UNDERNEATH!"

We hand off the last child. Mommy B and I are trying to get out of the blow-up mess (Mommy B still has her little one); and we climb out as fast as we can.

"Holden!" I yell. (Thankfully, no one was underneath.)

He is crying and obviously distraught.

He points to the slide.

Oh my gosh, I think. THIS TOTALLY TRAUMATIZED HIM!

He keeps pointing to the slide.

"I know," I say. "That was so scary.

He points to the slide again.

I keep trying to calm him.

And then it occurs to me; my child is not traumatized at all from the fall. He's heartbroken he waited his turn and never got to actually slide.

Fortunately for us; management opened up another room... with a more structurally sound ginormous slide... and they even got smart and metered participation.

Holden slid down that one about five more times before I called it quits for lunch and a little R&R (read:naps). I figured a near-death experience warranted some mid-day down time.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and because I don't know if the mommy's in play group would be weirded out I'm talking about their children to the blogosphere. Except for Hot Courtney - why would we change her name? Who wouldn't want to be called Hot Courtney? I would want to be called Hot Courtney and my name isn't even Courtney, it's Sabrena.... I'm just sayin'.

Don't Blink -Or- Holden's Officially Two

Seriously, don't blink. You might miss something. Or I might. Really, you're two? Holden? Already? It makes me feel extra super guilty I was trying to figure out how to get you to sleep through the night at 6 weeks. Ha! Seems so silly and ridiculous and exhausting all at the same time. Such a precious time... and now it's gone.

But I'm grateful for today. Still freaking out that you're two.

Six month's ago I posted a little bit about your likes and dislikes. Some things have changed; but you're pretty much the same guy... just with better hair and way cooler t-shirts (thank you Babinski's.)

But here are somethings I jotted down about you in the past six months (in no particular order).

Favorite foods of the past six months: dried and fresh blueberries, avocado, bananas, oats, (just plain oats, I don't even need to make them into oatmeal, though sometimes I do) olives, apples (eating them whole is your favorite way to partake),

grapes, cheese pizza (though you don't really eat the cheese), cupcakes (mostly just the frosting, though)

watermelon, those cracker-like orange "fish" (your Grandma gives them to you, not me), raisins, parmesan cheese (grated or slivered, but the REAL stuff...not that Kraft cheese-product), honeydew and broccoli.

Holden's order of broccoli and wheat toast at One Man band Diner (I was not so disciplined)

At the Real Game, you wanted to steal the olives from the burrito of the lady sitting next to us.

In the late summer -- harvest time-- it was pretty standard fare to see your shirts decorated with tomato seeds. You loved picking them from the vine and eating them straightaway. You also loved eating plums from our tree; but someone else would have to pick them for you.

At SLC's Gallery Stroll...he's so hip. I didn't go to a Gallery Stroll until I was in college.

During this past six months, you really started identifying pictures of Jesus and saying his name...oddly enough, pretty much anyone you see with a brown beard you seem to think is Jesus; and anyone with a white beard is "Ho Ho Ho" (what you call Santa.)

You're super attached to your father and have been for quite some time. You ask for him to put you to bed, and he's the first thing you ask for in the morning. One of the few sentences you put together is "Where my Dad?"

On August 12th (barely 18 months), you took all the pans and lids out of my pan/lid drawer. However, after being asked - you put them ALL back away. I was pretty impressed.

Around this time, you also started figuring out how to build your own train track--specifically the bridge portion of your track. You heart "toot-toot"... which I think means "Choo-Choo" with translates to "trains!"

In September, you would randomly move your hands in the "wheels on the bus" motion. We go to "Book Babies" at the Library about once a week for stories, songs and playtime with the other tots. You are always the most LIVELY of the bunch.

Same with yoga - at our Monday morning "Mommy & Me" class, you really seem most interested in hugging the Arjuna statue, feeding almonds to Ganesh and touching EVERYTHING on the alter. You also like tossing the blocks around the room (not part of the organized routine) and doing your own thing. I try to practice my patience and be in the moment... because like Book Babies, you are the most active little yogi in the room (though you do have a fierce Down Dog and melt my heart every time you bow in the "namaste" song.)

You got another hair cut in September; I think I'm going to let it grow until the summer. I love your curly locks...and you don't really love getting your hair cut; so it works both ways.

You love your cousins. You especially like to give your cousins Faye (6 weeks your elder) hugs. She likes about one form you; and then needs her space. You think her pushing you away is a game...she doesn't.

Second ear infection of your life at 23 months. You figured out that bubble gum antibiotics taste way better than Children's tylenol.

Despite how adorable you look in them, you do not like footie pajamas. We tried 2 pair for Christmas; and it was a struggle to get you into them... and usually involved tears if you had to keep them on. So no more footie PJs. (Who doesn't like footie pajamas?!?!?!)

You finally learned the word "no." Just 2 1/2 weeks ago, you learned it. You picked it up and decided you enjoy saying it in a sing-song manner. It doesn't come out very often, but it always catches me off guard when you say it...I'm used to 'Uh-uh." (Which seems a little easier to stomach to me than no, for some reason.)

You still love sports -- playing them, watching them with Dad. You love watching movies...I pretty much always feel guilty about it, but we let you (especially with your ear infection and this crappy weather!)

You loves animals -- especially horses, elephants, dogs, gorillas, and giraffes.

We're still EC-ing. No diaper-FREEdom to announce just yet. But I just keep reminding myself to 'trust the process.' Because being patient has paid off for us in other areas, like:

You are finally sleeping through the night! In your BIG BOY BED! Not three hours and then sneaking into Mommy & Daddy's bed; not six hours or eight hours (and calling it sleeping through the night)...but 10 hour stretches! No sleep training. No crying it out. Just laying down, tucking you in at night and taking the time....

Don't blink. But I love you....and Happy Birthday Little Bits.