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When people ask if I’m ready for the holidays, my standard
answer is pretty much “I’m about two-to-three-weeks behind everything in my
life, right now.” I’m not quite sure what happened this past year, and it’s so
cliché to say so, but time is really speeding up.
It blows my mind that in just a few months Holden will be a
decade. We tried something new for him school-wise to start fourth grade. I
joined the board of the Wasatch Family Foundation to get him admitted to
Wasatch Waldorf Charter School because their lottery is about a thousand people
long and my chances of winning the actual lottery seemed commensurate with
getting him in.
The kid doesn’t like change – I mean, who does? He had a teacher in 1st - 3rd at Elizabeth Academy Montessori that he was ready to repeat third grade for "There's still so much I could learn from Ms.Dawn!" So it was
kind of a rough start, and I was worried we had made a big mistake: but there’s
a lot of good that’s coming from it (and not just that he’s learning to cross
stitch.) He's made some great friends. Plus, as part of the Waldorf curriculum he started playing the double bass:
it’s about twice his size. And his handwriting is coming along splendidly…so nice
in fact, that for Christmas I’m gifting all my family handwriting books to
build on his momentum. (Danny included).
Holden’s main passion is Magic the Gathering. Since we
figured he needed to be spending more time with kids his age, instead of 20-30
year olds at the game shop for tournaments, he has taken up the charge to
introduce and teach anyone willing to listen, to the game. I don’t really “get”
it – but I do get that it’s something social that brings people together and
how fun it is to share something you love and are passionate about with others.
He started singing lessons with local artist Jeff Smith this
past year – and was elated to discover that along with music theory, he would
be practicing Queen and Led Zeppelin, amongst other musical geniuses.
While he still skateboards socially (Zoë’s the one who got
really into Penny Boarding this past year), his favorite sports are snow skiing
and tennis. He’s also taking trampoline lessons in an effort to increase his
trick-quota on the diving board for summer next year.
In addition to his MTG obsession, he’s into comics and
movies and all types of music. But probably the neatest thing about Holden is
his ability to empathize. One quick example was when we were setting up
Christmas decorations and he mentioned to Zoë that “Mary should be laying down
because she has a lot of pain. She’s happy, but she’s in pain.” I don’t know
many nine year olds who are concerned with the birth experience, let alone
thinking about how the mother of Jesus actually felt.
I’m really proud of him for the way he thinks about serving
and helping others (he wanted part of his Christmas money to go towards the
Salt Lake City Mission to feed the homeless). He’s an incredible child with a
huge heart and he teaches me so much.
Another big-heart in our family – along with a big
personality – is our ZoëBug. She turned seven on the seventh (#golden), but we
often say she’s going on 17. When we asked her what she wanted for her birthday
and Christmas, she responded: “A karaoke machine, a Teenager Starter Pack and
peace on earth.” (Probably in that order.)
Oh, what’s a teenager
starter pack you say?
“It comes with black headphones that I can wear around my
neck like a teenager. A little player for my music,” she tells us. And then
later describes how it has to be a small nano-sized mp3 player because “the big
ones don’t fit in my pocket.” And to round off the starter pack… “And like $300
for music.”
We. Were. Dying.
I know they’re learning about money in first grade, but I’m
holding onto the idea that $300 is probably about the same in her world as $25
(because that’s what she got to go towards music and seemed elated.)
Z is also a fearless skier. She doesn’t like to turn – she
just likes to haul down the mountain fearless and stop when it’s convenient
(for her.) She also started singing lessons this past year and has already had
two performances and seems to adjust to the spotlight quite easily. I love how
she gets more animated each time she’s on stage. Her teacher is super patient,
as Zoë often has her own ideas of what she’d like to do – but thankfully is
always steered in the right direction (though it often takes treats.)
She’s planning to play soccer again in the Fall – and is
improving in the sport as well. When we brought to her attention that everyone on the team gets tired, it was
a bit of a game changer and she realized she needed to try A LOT harder.
She loves music and math, and I pray everyday that she’ll
keep her love of STEM through her teenage years. Not surprising, she’s a fiery
little activist as well. And is still wondering why congress has not adopted
her idea of putting bears in front of gun shops “so bad guys can’t get guns.” I
applaud her outside-the-box thinking.
She’s our little cuddle-bug. She loves hugs and cuddles and
more cuddles…just don’t touch her hair without her permission. And she would
want me to share that she doesn’t like My Little Pony or Princesses… “and how
come boys think girls can only like pink?!?!” she said over breakfast. I don’t
know Z – I’d probably blame the patriarchy. ;)
And that is not the best transition to Danny, but it will
have to do. It’s hard for me to write about Danny because I want to brag about
what my family members are passionate about. So if Danny was “living his best
life,” as opposed to working full time, or dealing with the pile of laundry I
ignore, or meeting the Dryer repair man because I’m at a tennis match… or a
myriad of other things, I could rattle off better stats about him. I imagine
it would look something like: “Danny was able to dedicate hundreds of hours
this past year watching college football, and managed to join Dan Patrick for
ribs (that he never had to touch with his fingers) and a few guest segments on
his show this past year. Sabrena joined him often for Crossfit WODs and cooked
meat and vegetables multiple times a week. And not once this year did he have
to wake up with an alarm for the day.”
But alas, that’s wishful thinking.
He did workout a lot – but I only joined him for a WOD
once. He did watch a bunch of College Football, but could’ve enjoyed more. If
he wants to eat animal protein for dinner it means he probably cooked the meal
or we’re eating out. (Whoops!)
But he totally should get Husband and Father of the Year.
The truth is, all the volunteering and fundraising I’m doing would not be
possible if Danny didn’t take a key role in being the taxi-driver and keeping
parity in our home. There’s no "husband’s job," or "wife’s job" – there’s just work
to do, and care to be provided, and every year we spend together he seeks more
actively to serve where there’s a need. I’m so grateful.
He joined the Discovery Gateway children’s museum board
(again), and is also going to take over a bunch of my fundraising
responsibilities for the foundation so I can focus on some other things.
He took up pickleball, is playing more tennis with me (date
nights!) and hit all his professional goals for the year (going on ten years with Mountain West Small Business Finance in 2019!)
He makes us laugh everyday and is totally the kids’
favorite. His temperament and patience level is much more suitable for
parenting than yours truly. But I count that as a blessing, not a strike.
Because I have a husband who manages so much of the
emotional labor of running a household (did I mention he drives Zoë to school
everyday and runs neighborhood carpool twice a week?!?!), I get to do things
like play a lot of tennis and do a lot of volunteer work (oh and work. Yes, I’m
still running my own business as a public relations consultant and freelance
writer, but that’s just to help offset the cost of my tennis obsession.)
We’re celebrating a year anniversary of Pillows forPrisoners, and will donate another 400 for this holiday season thanks to the
support and donations of so many of you (you can still contribute! It’s never
too late.) I also volunteer to teach yoga at the jail – and it’s been a good
way to connect with the women on a different level. Politics took up a bunch of
time as well. We hosted as house party for Sheriff Rivera, who has been a huge
help with the Pillows project and has an incredible story herself.
Mostly, I’m just trying to save the world and raise children
who recognize the privilege we enjoy: and use that to help others. (And also eat
really good food, and play a lot of tennis.)
This holiday season we’ll be reflecting on a refugee family
from more than two thousand years ago—forced to flee their homeland for fear of
persecution. We’re making space, trying
to treat others and fill our hearts with the same love and compassion Jesus
Christ had for all those around Him.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays – however and wherever you’re
celebrating.
Sabrena for the (Suite-)Mangums
