OK friends, here's the deal. I actually HAVEN'T written our recap. But I did manage to get a few of the highlights from the things I remembered to write down from our family conversations. Maybe I'll jot a bit of the rest of the history another time. But in the meantime...
Flashback to Christmas 2018:
Z (almost 7), building the nativity while her
brother hangs ornaments: “Mom, should we put baby Jesus standing up or laying
down?”
Sabrena:
Holden: “Mary should be lying down because
she has so much pain. I mean she’s happy, but she’s in A LOT of pain...”
January
Going through Z’s stuffed animals #KonMari
style:
“It sparks joy! I can’t get rid of it—it’s
part of my childhood.”
And then:
“We had good times, Bunny. We had good
times...”
It’s also worth noting her basic #sparkjoy
test for her clothes was if she thought a teenager would wear it.
February
Danny: “That’s the line for Chick-fil-a!?! I
thought the freeway was backed up!”
*****
One Sunday in Primary (Danny used to be a
teacher and relays the following):
Primary Chorister: “Who will follow Jesus?!?”
Children: “I will!”
PC: “Who will serve a mission?!?”
Children: “I will!” (Raise arms and fists in
excitement).
Holden under his breath: “Not me, I’m joining
the Peace Corps.”
*****
Sabrena to Holden: “Sweetheart, can you come
pick up your pajamas? They’re still on the bathroom floor from this morning.”
[H walks out of bedroom, looking startled to
see me.]
Holden: “Sure, I was just listening to a Ted
Talk on children’s structure.”
*****
After a terse response from my Z because
Sabrena didn’t recall a kid from daycare, mom suggests we ‘start over’ and go
with our original plan of getting a smoothie.
Z: “Yeah because a Roxberry can fix anything!
But not if your house is on fire...or a brain freeze.”
March
Over a casual hot chocolate my Holden
randomly says
“So I heard Google is going to be the next
Illuminati....”
April
Danny to
Zoë: If I were a dog, what kind of dog would I be?
Z: A
baby golden retriever.
Sabrena:
What kind of dog would I be?
Z: A
poodle.
Danny: A
German Shepard, because you like things done in order, and you shed a lot.
June
Holden: “So there’s a Stairway to Heaven and
a Highway to Hell....[Long Pause] You mean I gotta decide between tons of
stairs or just riding in a car!?!”
*****
Today during family prayers, Holden asked for
safety of people in Asia (because of our trade war with China), and that people
in the U.K. will survive Brexit.
Me, asking 10yo if he’s finished his
@khanacademy
(our
family version of summer school) for the day.
10 yo, looks forlorn, & responds: “did
you ever think about the fact there’s ‘Khan’ in the name? An evil warlord who
takes over planets!?!”
#meanestmomever #nextleveltorture
1:50 PM · Jul 30, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Me *looks at husband who is fake sleeping as
I’m talking about plans for next year’s Shakespeare Fest.* “Why are you being
such a dick?”
Husband: I’m sorry, it’s just everything that
comes out of your mouth sounds like the last thing I want to do—is there a
KidsBop option?
10:53 PM · Aug 15, 2019
Summer
Holden on Catcher in the Rye Holden’s
Caufield:
So
he finished Animal Farm and just started Salinger’s Catcher in Rye. His take on
Holden Caulfield:
“Ugh, he broods and swears so much.”
December
Zoë: Mom, me and my friends are basically
VSCO girls because…. (holds up wrist that looks like Rainbow Brite)…
SCRUNCHIES!
****
Zoë: Santa Claus is weird. He stalks people!
Holden: You should read the unedited version
of St. Nicholas.
Z: Yeah! He used to put gold in the stocking
of little girls to keep them from becoming….
(Looks at her brother for backup).
Holden: ….Prostitutes.
Z: Yeah! Wait, what’s a prostitute?
*****
