30 days of Thanksgiving: (11/2/11) Baby Z the Enigma

I am thankful for you, Baby Z. Even though I really don't know what you are... I mean we've ruled out UFO artificial insemination and whatnot, but your gender continues to elude me. People often ask what I want: girl or boy? I respond "yes."

I may have mentioned before that it would seem a little easier if you were a boy -- because we've got all that Boy stuff already: clothes, toys, baking stuff. But we can't decide on a middle name AND I am not looking forward to the whole circumcision debate again: both sides seem to be a lose-lose to me. So Zeke, I hope when you're older and you read this, you'll forgive me talking about your 'special parts' to the world.

That said, maybe we won't even have to worry about the c-word. Because maybe you are a Zoe. And if that's the case your name is easy: Zoe Suite Mangum (yes, with out the hyphen... but isn't it cool our names will sound the same? I never had a middle name, so my hyphen is the closest thing I've got... though some would say just taking Suite as my middle name would've solved that whole problem anyway. But that would've been too easy on my marriage.) I digress.

If you are a girl, we'll probably need to get one of those kid-kitchens to go with all of Holden's baking stuff...and you'll definitely need some clothes...it will be fun to shop for you, though I'm pretty sure we'll need more disposable income in this house: I often joke with your father that we are not wealthy enough to have a girl at this stage in our relationship because I have seen what's out there for wardrobe options with girls, and it's scary how much money I could spend.

I am excited for you to get here. Due date ranges from the 18th to the 23rd depending on which model you chose: and you're measuring big from what the ultrasound says, and I'm already measuring 39-40 weeks (at 37-plus weeks)...and with the extra fluid, it seems there are a few indicators that you may be coming sooner than later... though it seemed your brother would've stayed in utero for another month if the doctors would've let him.

You're still so high up, it's really unbelievable. I've got such a short amount of time left and I have yet to use one of those belly-belt things that I swore I used with your brother 6 months in: trade-offs, eh?

What can I say except that I am excited to meet you. I'm glad you're already a part of our family, and we're all looking forward to you being here... though I keep reminding myself babies are much easy to care of inside the womb than out of it, but hopefully this time I'll remind myself to enjoy it, instead of being worried I'm doing everything wrong.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: 11/1/11

Totally thankful I have a tough kid who doesn't get offended when I laugh at him...especially when I should be a little more compassionate (this was posted to fb a few days ago, so you may have already seen it).

Goals - Schmoles

I am currently in "get everything done before the holidays come" mode; what with baby being due the week of Thanksgiving and all.

That said, I took a look at my goals for 2011 today and thought I might touch base on all the things I had accomplished; and more importantly, point out where I failed miserably and didn't even come close.

You may notice right off the bat that it's a pretty short list, void of real self improvement feats like "be nicer to husband," "read scriptures daily" or "be a better mom." I was trying to be realistic.

Here's the list:

2011 To-Do's

• make cheese
• get a real blog & website
• make/have a baby
• do full splits
• dry tomatoes
• plant potatoes & corn
• make yoga video
• do photo shoot w/ Sassa
• children's book

OK, now here's the breakdown and reflections on the list (in italics).

2011 To-Do's - The first thing that comes to mind is that I didn't actually call these goals. This is just a task-list per se... much like the ones I make each day that say things like "laundry" or "buy distilled vinegar"... Somehow this makes me feel like somewhat less of a failure.

• make cheese I still want to do this. It's already happened on a few occasions but mostly in the form of finding a mostly empty sippy cup of Holden's underneath a bed...smells just like cottage cheese. Let's keep this one on the list for next year...
• get a real blog & website As you can see, I'm still not the 'real deal.' However, I am pretty stoked about the fact that I got picked up by Make & Takes to do a guest blog once a month... that blog is totally legit, and I even get a little compensation for it. So it's a start...but we'll keep this one on the list for next year too...
• make/have a baby Part one of this can definitely be checked off the list -- and with your positive thoughts and prayers, and a little bit of cooperation from my body, Part two should be fully realized next month. Happy Birthing! Check it off the list!
• do full splits Keep it on the list... although depending on how childbirth goes, this too could be a accomplished before year's end. (I'm just sayin'.)
• dry tomatoes No No No... this did not happen, and I don;t see it happening. But I have managed to bottle/can approximately 70-plus pounds of tomatoes into spaghetti sauce, relish and sweet and sour sauce for the coming year. I'm kind of done with the the tomato thing
• plant potatoes & corn The potatoes happened, and they've been harvested (I may have mentioned this before, but Holden referred to it as "digging for dinosaur bones.") The corn will have to wait until next year...or beyond.
• make yoga video I thought I had this awesome idea about making a video and giving it away when people asked me for a 'good basic yoga video." Not that there aren't a million DVDs out there; but I don't really 'do' any of those. And I thought it would be fun to have friends and family participate in the making... obviously it didn't happen either since I've spent most of the year pregnant; but my somewhat-monthly appearances on FOX seem to be a nice trade-off. Still waiting for them to post the pregnancy one from earlier this month... (heavy sigh).
• do photo shoot w/ Sassa This was a goal to get pictures like the Hard Tail ads with my older sister for my "real website"... but again, the whole pregnancy thing kind of changed the plan... and I've already got plenty of pics of me in yoga poses with a belly (both pregnant and just chubby).
• children's book I had this idea for a children's book, which I somehow forgot. Danny keeps asking me to write chick-lit.... as if anyone would really be interested in read that.

So to recap - I didn't really accomplish much this year... well except for grow a person -- and that would've been impossible without Danny. Come to think of it, most of my greatest accomplishments have to do with him, or his help. Guess it hasn't been such a bad year after all.

**Oh and incase you're wondering what that picture has to do with this post, it doesn't. I just thought it was a good idea to include some Holden cuteness...**

Harvest Time

I love Fall. It's really the best season for fashion (not that I really know anything about that these days -- "Hello maternity pants and shade shirts.") But it's been harvest time in our garden. Farmer's Markets are buzzing. We've got tomatoes coming out of our noses, and I even took my own advice and canned up a storm this year (wanted to have ample spaghetti sauce available for when baby comes). Even my pies for Thanksgiving are sitting in my freezer waiting to be reheated so I can contribute on Turkey Day with more than just cankles if Baby Z decides to stick around past the due date.

A big piece of this inspiration: the vegetable garden, my lavender, pie making and canning comes from up North at the Purple Apple Farm. Remember our "FRENTERs?" (Friends that lived in our basement = Frenters) Well Q's parents live on this amazing farm with apple trees, tons of lavender, chickens, and huge plots of land for vegetables etc. It's amazing. In fact the Dez News did an article about them and cooking with lavender last year.

We got to head up a couple of years ago to pick apples and visit -- Q's Mom Peggy taught me how to make apple pie and the whole day felt like I was an extra on a Martha Stewart with special guest "Barbara Kingsolver." They are homesteaders at their finest.

last Saturday the Nelson's (Quentin & Christie) invited a bunch of friends up for apple picking, food, frolicking and fun. And Holden almost went the whole time without making any of the other kids cry. (Apparently he thought our friend's three year old daughter wanted to play "Touchdown"... although she wasn't aware of the game).

Yesterday I turned part of our harvest into applesauce that I plan on using as baby food in about seven months or so, and I'm going to use the rest of the apples for juice and dried fruit.

I don't know if I'm nesting per se.... with Holden we just decided to overhaul our kitchen and bathroom the week before he was due; so this doesn't feel quite as over the top.

I don;t know what my point is, but I guess I'll just point out we had a wonderful time, and I'm grateful for good friends.

You can see more pictures and read the hilarious quips of Christie on the QNCJ blog. She's definitely worth the price of admission.

Thanks "Tintin" and "Kiss-tee" (as Holden so affectionally refers to them.)

A Green Halloween?

Looking for your help on this very important question:

What to give the Trick-or-Treaters this year that is still cool but won't send me into a guilt/shame spiral for killing the planet/contributing to tooth decay?

I'm guest blogging about Greener Options for Halloween at Make and Takes today... You should check it out, and of course, leave a comment. (Insert Cheeky Emoticon Here.)

*Image from Green Halloween.

An Open Letter to Baby Z (34 weeks & change)

So here I am, trying to get caught up on what exactly has been going on with this pregnancy. I was so much better about it with Holden…but things are just different this time. That said, you know how sometimes you blog to document but it’s more for yourself than the blogosphere? Yes, this is one of those occasions. I feel like I should be apologizing for the length of this post, but again, it's really more for me than for you…though as always, you are welcome to partake.

October 3, 2011 at 32 weeks+5 days and obviously counting.

This baby has obviously not "dropped" yet.

Dear Baby Z,

I know I haven’t spent a lot of time documenting your awesome adventures, but the truth is, I feel like we’ve needed to be a little private about you.

Thanks to absurd amounts of technology, the medical community can now scare a mother into thinking hers is a high risk pregnancy without anything ever really being wrong!

I think you know the gist of it, but just to fill you in on a few of the details since you probably won’t remember:

Early in the pregnancy our caregivers were concerned I might have placenta acreta. Yes, super rare…but it is a condition where the placenta is low lying and attaches to the cesarean scar…complications usually range from blood transfusion to DNC or hysterectomy depending on level of severity, regardless of how the baby is delivered. Months ago they shared this bad news with us and so we played the waiting game – “Will it be attached?” “Will it not?” Is mommy going to lose more blood than having her arm ripped off like Grendel from Beowolf? (I was actually informed this can be the case as there is so much blood concentrated in the area, and scar tissue, unlike uterine wall tissue does not contract and close off, in essence).

With a few exceptions, we basically kept this concern on the down-low until we had more information from the follow-up ultrasound (we didn’t want to alarm anyone until we had a better idea of what we were up against).

Ah, were my hopes and dreams for a physiological birth thwarted again? Not necessarily… Baby’s delivery still appeared to be fine, and I was still a candidate for VBAC. It was the afterbirth that was the problem (how exactly does it detach?). The recommendation was that if it was attached that I still try for a vaginal birth, but get an epidural because I’d need to be medicated for an emergency procedure in the OR…and if I wasn’t medicated that meant being knocked out for the procedure and thus, seriously delayed bonding time for baby. (Obviously if it’s between au natural and bonding, I’m going with bonding...feel like I totally got robbed on that one with Holden, and I didn't even have to be put under for my cesarean.)

Thankfully, we we’re thrilled to discover that our prayers had been answered and the placenta was not attached to scar tissue! Huzzah…looks like everything is turning up Sabrena, right?

Well they just couldn’t leave it at that. While the placenta attached where my c-section scar ended, the ultrasound had revealed that I had now been diagnosed with “Polyhydramnios” -- which is a fancy word for “too much amniotic fluid.”

What’s the big deal about that? I mean, usually people don’t have enough fluid – that’s the concern. Apparently I’m just so good at pregnancy that my body’s producing extra fluid to cushion your kicks, squirms and hiccups even more, right?

Well, not exactly….

Turns out the condition can lead to complications from uterine rupture to premature birth or stillbirth. The cause of the condition is unknown – apparently some women just have more fluid, sometimes it’s caused from a birth defect in the baby or diabetes in the mother. But neither of those seem to be a likely cause (I was actually showing low in my glucose test, and from all these ultrasounds all your parts (heart, lungs, kidneys) seem to be functioning well Z, so we’re not really leaning towards a genetic birth defect.)

The truth is, yes, my levels are still high, but you look healthy – I feel you moving a ton, and you’re developing right on schedule...

We’re getting Non-Stress-Tests (NST) weekly to make sure you’re ok. And even though I feel you moving a lot, you still managed to change positions so much at last Friday’s appointment that in 45 minutes you weren’t hitting their ‘marks’ – thus qualifying us for yet another ultrasound and discussions about being admitted to the hospital for overnight monitoring.

Me to Darling Ultrasound Tech: “Admitted? What do you mean admitted?”

D.U.T: “Well, admit you to the hospital for overnight monitoring.”

Me: “What?!?!”

See, I figured I was going in for a routine 20 minute NST, and nearly three hours later they were talking about possibilities of an overnight stay if you didn’t show them you could practice your breathing for 30 seconds.

Although you pretty much waited until the very last few minutes of our half-an-hour window, we passed! Not sure what that says about you, but better cooperation next time would be greatly appreciated from your mother, her nerves and crazed-hormonal-pregnancy-emotions.

Your father, always the tender heart, had made his way to the hospital and surprised me at the ultrasound. It was one of those times I didn’t want to need him, but I was so glad her was there. It’s amazing the power that comes from having your hand held by your best friend. (Remember this when you find the love of your life).

So I guess I’m done “bragging” about my easy pregnancies. The truth is, I don’t get bad morning sickness…I don’t really throw up. I don’t need fluids, and I can remain pretty active throughout my entire pregnancy. But everyone has their own cross to bear when it comes to conception, pregnancy, labor and delivery. I'm learning it doesn't mean it's easy/easier...it's just different. At one time I figured we'd have a 5 or 6 person family; emotionally, I think you may be our cut off point, Z. Mommy's had a difficult time dealing with the "what if's," and it's been no picnic for Dad either.

But yes, still hoping for a physiological birth with you - no meds, no O.R. and no complications would be ideal, but as I learned with your brother, my wants are not always reality. Our main goal - healthy baby, healthy mama.

I love you Baby Z. Hope to see you in about six weeks.

Holden the Goose Whisperer

Holden and I belong to this awesome neighborhood playgroup. Each mom takes a month a plans an activities for a month, just one day a week.

Last month Little Bits, (Baby Z - still in utero at 34 weeks today) and I hosted: we did a day at the park, one day at Discovery Gateway (Children's Museum), an event at the downtown Library hosted by Lego and then I taught a 30 minute yoga session for kids with a potluck luncheon after at our place.

While at any given month we seldom can make all the activities (except when we were hosting because I strategically planned it around our schedules), we do try to participate as much as possible. The mantra for this group pretty much seems to be "Come When You Can!" Which fits in perfectly to our lifestyle.

Last week's activity was a harvest splendor of sorts at Wheeler Farm: tractor-trailer ride, a hay maze, picking a pumpkin and animals galore. I had never taken Holden there before so he was pretty stoked to play with the ducks and geese (I mean, at the Sun Valley Lodge there's only 2 or 3)... here there were hoards!

In the video you can see him showing me how he gets close and personal with Mother Earth and "eats like a duck" (super sanitary, I'm sure). He'd also chase after them with open arms, and I kept thinking my two year old was going to be the next contestant on "When Animals Attack."

Good thing he finally crossed his arms to make sure the ferocious fowl knew he was harmless. Oh wait...

The good news is, after he told me "that duck eat me" he wanted to stay and play some more with them. I on the other hand was ready to move on before this YouTube video suddenly took a turn for the worse became competition for Shark Week. Let's not temp fate, eh?