2018 Holiday Recap

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When people ask if I’m ready for the holidays, my standard answer is pretty much “I’m about two-to-three-weeks behind everything in my life, right now.” I’m not quite sure what happened this past year, and it’s so cliché to say so, but time is really speeding up.

It blows my mind that in just a few months Holden will be a decade. We tried something new for him school-wise to start fourth grade. I joined the board of the Wasatch Family Foundation to get him admitted to Wasatch Waldorf Charter School because their lottery is about a thousand people long and my chances of winning the actual lottery seemed commensurate with getting him in.

The kid doesn’t like change – I mean, who does? He had a teacher in 1st - 3rd at Elizabeth Academy Montessori that he was ready to repeat third grade for "There's still so much I could learn from Ms.Dawn!" So it was kind of a rough start, and I was worried we had made a big mistake: but there’s a lot of good that’s coming from it (and not just that he’s learning to cross stitch.) He's made some great friends. Plus, as part of the Waldorf curriculum he started playing the double bass: it’s about twice his size. And his handwriting is coming along splendidly…so nice in fact, that for Christmas I’m gifting all my family handwriting books to build on his momentum. (Danny included).

Holden’s main passion is Magic the Gathering. Since we figured he needed to be spending more time with kids his age, instead of 20-30 year olds at the game shop for tournaments, he has taken up the charge to introduce and teach anyone willing to listen, to the game. I don’t really “get” it – but I do get that it’s something social that brings people together and how fun it is to share something you love and are passionate about with others.

He started singing lessons with local artist Jeff Smith this past year – and was elated to discover that along with music theory, he would be practicing Queen and Led Zeppelin, amongst other musical geniuses.

While he still skateboards socially (Zoë’s the one who got really into Penny Boarding this past year), his favorite sports are snow skiing and tennis. He’s also taking trampoline lessons in an effort to increase his trick-quota on the diving board for summer next year.

In addition to his MTG obsession, he’s into comics and movies and all types of music. But probably the neatest thing about Holden is his ability to empathize. One quick example was when we were setting up Christmas decorations and he mentioned to Zoë that “Mary should be laying down because she has a lot of pain. She’s happy, but she’s in pain.” I don’t know many nine year olds who are concerned with the birth experience, let alone thinking about how the mother of Jesus actually felt.

I’m really proud of him for the way he thinks about serving and helping others (he wanted part of his Christmas money to go towards the Salt Lake City Mission to feed the homeless). He’s an incredible child with a huge heart and he teaches me so much.

Another big-heart in our family – along with a big personality – is our ZoëBug. She turned seven on the seventh (#golden), but we often say she’s going on 17. When we asked her what she wanted for her birthday and Christmas, she responded: “A karaoke machine, a Teenager Starter Pack and peace on earth.” (Probably in that order.)

Oh, what’s a teenager starter pack you say?

“It comes with black headphones that I can wear around my neck like a teenager. A little player for my music,” she tells us. And then later describes how it has to be a small nano-sized mp3 player because “the big ones don’t fit in my pocket.” And to round off the starter pack… “And like $300 for music.”

We. Were. Dying.

I know they’re learning about money in first grade, but I’m holding onto the idea that $300 is probably about the same in her world as $25 (because that’s what she got to go towards music and seemed elated.)

Z is also a fearless skier. She doesn’t like to turn – she just likes to haul down the mountain fearless and stop when it’s convenient (for her.) She also started singing lessons this past year and has already had two performances and seems to adjust to the spotlight quite easily. I love how she gets more animated each time she’s on stage. Her teacher is super patient, as Zoë often has her own ideas of what she’d like to do – but thankfully is always steered in the right direction (though it often takes treats.)

She’s planning to play soccer again in the Fall – and is improving in the sport as well. When we brought to her attention that everyone on the team gets tired, it was a bit of a game changer and she realized she needed to try A LOT harder.

She loves music and math, and I pray everyday that she’ll keep her love of STEM through her teenage years. Not surprising, she’s a fiery little activist as well. And is still wondering why congress has not adopted her idea of putting bears in front of gun shops “so bad guys can’t get guns.” I applaud her outside-the-box thinking.

She’s our little cuddle-bug. She loves hugs and cuddles and more cuddles…just don’t touch her hair without her permission. And she would want me to share that she doesn’t like My Little Pony or Princesses… “and how come boys think girls can only like pink?!?!” she said over breakfast. I don’t know Z – I’d probably blame the patriarchy. ;)

And that is not the best transition to Danny, but it will have to do. It’s hard for me to write about Danny because I want to brag about what my family members are passionate about. So if Danny was “living his best life,” as opposed to working full time, or dealing with the pile of laundry I ignore, or meeting the Dryer repair man because I’m at a tennis match… or a myriad of other things, I could rattle off better stats about him. I imagine it would look something like: “Danny was able to dedicate hundreds of hours this past year watching college football, and managed to join Dan Patrick for ribs (that he never had to touch with his fingers) and a few guest segments on his show this past year. Sabrena joined him often for Crossfit WODs and cooked meat and vegetables multiple times a week. And not once this year did he have to wake up with an alarm for the day.”

But alas, that’s wishful thinking.

He did workout a lot – but I only joined him for a WOD once. He did watch a bunch of College Football, but could’ve enjoyed more. If he wants to eat animal protein for dinner it means he probably cooked the meal or we’re eating out. (Whoops!)

But he totally should get Husband and Father of the Year. The truth is, all the volunteering and fundraising I’m doing would not be possible if Danny didn’t take a key role in being the taxi-driver and keeping parity in our home. There’s no "husband’s job," or "wife’s job" – there’s just work to do, and care to be provided, and every year we spend together he seeks more actively to serve where there’s a need. I’m so grateful.

He joined the Discovery Gateway children’s museum board (again), and is also going to take over a bunch of my fundraising responsibilities for the foundation so I can focus on some other things.

He took up pickleball, is playing more tennis with me (date nights!) and hit all his professional goals for the year (going on ten years with Mountain West Small Business Finance in 2019!)

He makes us laugh everyday and is totally the kids’ favorite. His temperament and patience level is much more suitable for parenting than yours truly. But I count that as a blessing, not a strike.

Because I have a husband who manages so much of the emotional labor of running a household (did I mention he drives Zoë to school everyday and runs neighborhood carpool twice a week?!?!), I get to do things like play a lot of tennis and do a lot of volunteer work (oh and work. Yes, I’m still running my own business as a public relations consultant and freelance writer, but that’s just to help offset the cost of my tennis obsession.)

We’re celebrating a year anniversary of Pillows forPrisoners, and will donate another 400 for this holiday season thanks to the support and donations of so many of you (you can still contribute! It’s never too late.) I also volunteer to teach yoga at the jail – and it’s been a good way to connect with the women on a different level. Politics took up a bunch of time as well. We hosted as house party for Sheriff Rivera, who has been a huge help with the Pillows project and has an incredible story herself.

Mostly, I’m just trying to save the world and raise children who recognize the privilege we enjoy: and use that to help others. (And also eat really good food, and play a lot of tennis.)

This holiday season we’ll be reflecting on a refugee family from more than two thousand years ago—forced to flee their homeland for fear of persecution.  We’re making space, trying to treat others and fill our hearts with the same love and compassion Jesus Christ had for all those around Him.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays – however and wherever you’re celebrating.

Sabrena for the (Suite-)Mangums

2017 Recap: A different family update than the usual—

But an update nonetheless….

Honestly friends, I can’t believe it’s been another year. In retrospect, I know it sounds a little over the top, but last year at this time Danny and I were having serious discussions about how to uproot our entire lives and relocate to Europe. I was devastated. While our country overwhelmingly did not cast their vote for the Cheeto in Command, Trump (and the Russians’) electoral college victory had me seriously thinking about what type of country I wanted to raise my children in. A “Shining city on a hill” it seemed, we were not.

Holden Turns Eight and Decides to get Baptized! 

But ultimately, through prayer, meditation and a lot of introspection, we came to the conclusion that the best answer to our current political state was to be part of the solution. So we made plans on how to move forward.

Chicago trip... got to see "Da Bears"

How to effect change.

How to be part of the solution.

So we joined with millions of women and men across the country and marched. 

We marched in January at Utah’s State Capitol to acknowledge our privilege and to support those who were not born with the same luxuries we have been afforded. 

We marched in Maui (on our first day of vacation) for science and for the environment. 

And we marched on Tax Day to support transparency in government.

#StyleForDays

And when I say we, I kind of mean me, and my family was good to come along for the ride. In true Danny fashion, his ability to “roll with the punches” and not get overwhelmed, meant he has been a shinning example taking it all with grace and patience, talking me off a few ledges, letting me vent when needed, and supported my new found passion for fighting for the causes of social mobility and economic justice.

So yeah... 2017 meant donating to a lot more causes and supporting the rights of the oppressed. It has meant working to be engaged in a way I hadn’t before. I've tried to spend more time listening to marginalized voices and look for ways my own prejudices were affecting not only my thoughts and actions, but how I was raising my family. I took to heart the wise words from the New York Transit Authority: ‘If you see something, say something.”

Yellowstone with Mama Suite & GrandpaTOM

We continued our scripture study as a family, and made Family Home Evening even more of a priority – making sure that in our house, the most important principle in our lives was the edict to “Love one another.” 

The year pressed on with the pieces of everyday life one might expect. The kids are doing great in school. Holden tried on baseball for size – and decided it didn’t fit too well, but visiting with friends in the dugout did. He asked if we could have an “open house” for his team this summer, and Danny suggested a “pool party” might be a better fit (Holden agreed.) H found a love for sports with boards and wheels—trying his luck at everything from skateboarding and surfing (ocean and lake) to biking.  

Salt Lake ComicCon 2017

 Z danced, and played soccer, tore it up on the ski slopes with her brother, and enjoyed trying news sports as well (“Mom, when can I go back to Hawaii and take another surf lesson?”)  Both kids are playing piano and we’re finally to a point where I can say “go practice” and I don’t have to be sitting next to them to make sure they take time on the instrument.

But what I’m most proud of when it comes to my kids are their skills that don’t come with participation ribbons or trophies. --And yes, I’m totally aware this is something you would expect a parent to say when they have kids that have a low-level of natural talent when it comes to organized sports.--I’m ok with that.

Both Kids took up Skateboarding... Z gettin' her sticker game on

At Zoë’s parent teacher conference, her teachers told us she was very passionate about “social justice” and wants to make sure she and her classmates are sensitive to the nuances and challenges of race, and even cultural appropriation. She’s in Kindergarten. She turns six on December 7^th.

Cub Scouts meets Dr. Strange

Holden has been enjoying being a cub scout and made a critical decision to get baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints this past year. Not to say it wasn't a little touch-and-go for a while, but the kid’s got a serious affinity for the Norse Gods… and ironically, has some understandable concerns when it comes to Biblical Literalism.

I think Holden’s greatest accomplishment for the year has really been his inclusion of his little sister. We were  a couple of months into the school year before I realized that the kids play together at recess almost every day (the rare exception is usually because they aren’t on the playground at the same time). Zoë shared one story about how she got sad because one of H’s friends said he didn’t want to play a particular game if Zoë was going to play. “But guess what Mom?” she explained, “Holden said, ‘don’t worry Zoë, I’ll take care of it.’”

Living Wax Museum: Napoleon! 

I'm happy to say we continued our love of travel this year. The kids enjoyed learning to surf this year while we played in Maui with Danny’s family, took a trip to the Dominican Republic celebrate a bunch of my girlfriends (and me) turning forty -- and then went to New York in September to "officially" celebrate me turning 40 and seeing the Tony Award Winning "Dear Evan Hansen" on Broadway. 

In the summer, we took a trip to Yellowstone and my Dad and Holden were in geological sulfur-scented heaven. 

We also got to achieve our life-long family dream (OK, at least our dream for the past couple of years) of seeing “Hamilton” on a trip to Chicago. We looked at art, went to museums, were underwhelmed by the Jurassic Park exhibit and realized that it would be a few more years before we took the kids to Europe because Zoë's a trooper, but her short little legs put her at a serious disadvantage for long walks with a family that's been stroller-free for most of her life. 

Danny saw loads of success in the professional world – named Mountain West Small Business Finance’s “Top Producer” by dollar amount, and made it past his two-year anniversary as part of Crossfit Nation. I share this with you because while “the first rule of Crossfit is ‘Talk about Crossfit,’" Danny has been pretty shy about his successes in the Box. Also, I told him if he ever posted a picture of his hand callouses/ripped blisters on social media, there would be consequences. J

Just two dudes, and a shared love of Calderas. 

The kids wish he was a SAHD (Stay at Home Dad) because he’s so good at parenting. Sometimes I think they may be onto something we could explore a little more deeply. But that would severely cut back on my volunteer hours, so alas! We press forward.

And speaking of volunteer hours, I started volunteering at the jail teaching yoga this summer. There’s more to the story, so if you haven’t heard about our advocacy or the “Pillows for Prisoners” project my sister and I launched in October, please take a look (The Salt Lake Tribune also did a great piece on the project.) 

As always, you can find the highlights of the things my kids said this past year that I remembered to record by clicking here.

We Did IT! Finally Made it to Hamilton! 

In the meantime, I get it that this letter is a bit more political than I tend to share. And some would say that the holidays are one of the few times we should leave that stuff alone, but something about this past election has created a shift that (as I previously mentioned) I just can’t deny. In pretending that our lives just continued in the same way would be anything but a fair representation of the past year.

One thing that does remain the same though is our gratitude for one another and the love we have for all God’s creations. We are thankful for your friendship and for the relationships that enrich and bless our lives.

May 2018 be a year of health, hope and healing for our families, the nation and our world.

Sabrena, for the (Suite-)Mangums

Holdenisms & Life with ZoëBug

Kids Say the Darndest Things….

A sampling from 2017 (at least the ones I remembered to capture on Facebook) with this year's school pictures. 

Holden: "Mom, do you know what I don't like about Greek Mythology?"

Me:

H: "There's so much sex."

"Show me what uh-mography looks like!" Zoë, barely five trying to chant "SHOW ME WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!” at the Women’s March in Salt Lake at the Capitol.

Reading in the New Testament for our before-school scripture exploration, and we’re graced with the “whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” verse. Which lead to Holden to asking the obvious question: “What’s adultery?”

From the top of my head: “Ummm, it’s having an inappropriate intimate relationship with someone when you are married, or having an intimate inappropriate relationship with someone else who is already married….”

“Oh,” Holden says thoughtfully. “…like Bill Clinton -- or Hamilton!”

During a game of "would you rather" between the kids.

Z: Hoe-den, what would you rather have--stay at home and eat ice cream all day or play video games?

H: Play video games.

Z: Wrong.

I send Holden upstairs to see if "Pan" is available to watch on Netflix for a family movie.

Time passes as he's scrolling, scrolling, scrolling...

Then he yells down: "Mom, I thought Annie was black?!?!"

It's a "water day" at preschool tomorrow, and as Z's organizing her clothes for school I suggest that instead of her "Star Wars" one piece swimmingsuit, she wear bikini bottoms and a rash guard for ease of using the restroom.

I grab a pair of her shorts, "Do you want some shorts to cover your swimsuit?" I ask.

Z: "No, I just want to wear my swimsuit bottoms."

Me: 

Z: "What? My body, my choice."

After listen to a version of Aesop's "Boy Who Cried Wolf," I asked Z for a recap and what she thought the moral of the story was.

"The lesson, Mom, is that you should never ask for help unless you really, really need it."

Earlier this week, we were discussing the value of volunteer work and the benefits of service.

It was quickly obvious I had not properly explained the value of community service to Zoë, because she began chiming in saying "It's not fair that people don't get paid if they work hard!"

So I tried again, "Zoë why do you think I do Pillows for Prisoners...Why would Mommy spend her time trying to raise money to give it to someone else?"

And then my five-year-old daughter, with a cut-throat but (almost) admirable capitalist caché (that I could only laugh at) replied: "Well, it sounds like Mom is making a really poor choice."

It's evening and Zoë yawns. So I say, "Sounds like you need to go to bed."

She gives me a look of disappointment, shakes her head softly and says: "Mom, I already told you, when you yawn it means you're tired. When I yawn it means 'more games and shows.'"

Pillows for Prisoners: My Sister's #metoo Story

This summer, my little sister was incarcerated for a month and a half at the Salt Lake County Jail for drug and alcohol related charges. The experience has affected her, our family and our community in the most unexpected of ways. Her #metoo story, is one with life-changing consequences.

I hope you'll take a moment to read about Celeste's story and consider making a donation to a neglected and forgotten public. Find out more at www.pillowsforprisoners.com.www.pillowsforprisoners.com.