Things to do While waiting for baby

As I write this, the clock just struck 5 am on Friday morning. I’ve been on the web looking at Angie’s List for “mold removal” and “construction.” With Holden, holdin’-on so to speak, Danny and I got in a little over our heads. (Reminder: We’re headed to the hospital, midwife’s orders, on Saturday night to try and get the process started…induction begins Sunday morning). Please keep us all in your prayers.

So we tried the trio pizza, s.e.x., raspberry leaf tea, walking, jogging, yoga, accupressure and some serious pleas and prayers for divine intervention... who knows if it's done anything; so we're taking a different route (so to speak).

My dishwasher came (huzzah! It's a Bosch and FABULOUS!), and instead of just verifying that the guy could install it with out pulling up 2 layers of subfloor and linoleum… we decided to move ahead with a little mini-renovation. Yes, we STARTED the project 2 days AFTER baby’s scheduled due date. We told the guys helping us out that we’d give them a bonus as long as the project was complete before Holden got here. I think the kitchen (the mini-upgrades we asked for) will be easily finished by Saturday night… the bathroom just off the kitchen is a completely different story.

We pulled up the top layer of flooring to extend the same flooring from the kitchen and the sub-floor particle board looked more like sawdust underneath than wood. Not to mention, it totally smelled like my late Great Aunt Veeda’s house in Filmore (rest her soul,) and I don’t mean burnt toast and raspberry jam.

So obviously I’m convinced we have a mold problem… but I’m not sure if it’s the deadly toxic kind or otherwise. Seems a bit ridiculous that we buy the nonVOC paint that’s practically fume-less for the walls and now I may have exposed some deadly allergens into our home.

So first things first –

• We totally quarantined the area (well, as best we could). I’m pretending that part of our house just doesn’t exist.
• I’m getting someone to come test and remove the crap that’s left over …the initial demo work the guys (and my sister) did got rid of most of it…but I just need to know the space is safe even if it's not useable.
• And someday, we’ll get our bathroom remodeled… but I have no idea when we’ll have the funds or the environment to do that. (I don’t really want banging and sheetrock and all that junk around when we bring Holden home, obviously.)

(Speaking of... anyone know of a decent cost-competitive contractor looking for work? I've got a bathroom they may be interested in...)

The good news is, this whole ordeal has done a stand-up job deterring my mind from the whole “why hasn’t my baby come yet? And am I broken because I won’t dilate” issue.

I told Danny there's an eerie resemblance between "waiting for him" and "waiting for our son."

The dialogue (waiting for my soul-mate vs. waiting for my son) goes something like this:

• Why am I still single/pregnant?
  
• What's wrong with me?
  
• I'm excited to meet my soulmate/son. . .
• Why is it taking so long?
• It must be me. I'm broken...
  
• I'm not broken, I just need to keep an eternal perspective
• Remember patience is a virtue.
• I wonder what he'll be like
• I should exercise.

Hopefully the next update will be a birthing announcement, eh?

And Wikky, you are right... someday I will look back at all of this and laugh.

Seriously? Seriously...

All I can do is laugh. My child obviously takes after his father.

Danny and I have often joked that we are six years apart in age because when we made the decision to come down to earth, I was in a rush to get here and took the first opportunity. While he said, "I'm on my way" ... it's obvious to me he then proceeded to catch a few years worth of Heavenly Sports Center and made his way down 5 years and six months later.

A man's timing is not my timing.

So here are a few things I've heard in the last week:

• "You're still pregnant?!?!" Most common reaction from EVERYONE!
  
• "You still have a baby in your tummy?" How Christie (one of our renters) phrases it ... when she says it, it makes me laugh.
  
• "I can't find your cervix" followed 4 days later by "You have an elusive cervix." Yes, that was my midwife Kat.
  

What can you do besides laugh when you're 40-weeks 2 days and NOT EVEN DILATED to a ONE?!?!? What is wrong with me? More importantly, what is up with having an elusive cervix? Is that a medical condition? ;)

Well, it could be a lot of things... or nothing.

I had one of those "Non-stress Tests" earlier today... so they check the amniotic fluid, and his size and heartbeat and responsiveness. The lady administering to me said everything looks fine, good... "He's really comfortable in there." She said, "Which is great news, or bad news I guess for you."

I just smiled and kind of half-laughed. (It was either that or cry.)

Kat scheduled me for a medical induction beginning Saturday night with Pitocin (ARGH!) on Sunday morning. It's a good thing the Bears / Colts aren't playing in the Superbowl, or I'd really be having a hard time (kidding).

Obviously, my preference is that he comes ASAP. (and not because "I'm miserable" or "Sooo over being pregnant"... I'm not. I'm fine. I may look like an oompah-loompah, but I feel more like it's my 2nd trimester again...I just have a bigger belly).

I really don't want to be induced. I don't want Pitocin... and I sure as Hades do not want an epidural (you know I have a fear of needles, right?).

But again, I am being shown that I am not in charge. I am not in control. And no matter how many times I remind myself that this is not about me, or my timing...it's hard to REALLY believe.

So I scheduled an appointment with an accupressurist for tomorrow. She said she's done work on girls who an hour later go into labor. Why not? I've got until Saturday night to try ANYTHING!

And yes Cicely, I know S-E-X worked for you and Alison...

Anyone else care to chime in on my crazy comfortable womb?

Holden's Due Date -- Um, Today.

In Honor of Holden's due date, I am watching this... 

It's worth the price of admission (free via "On Demand") just to see what a wacky bowl cut Hugh Grant had in the 90s. 

Truth is, I woke up at 4:30 this morning, after sleeping through the night (I'm sure I'll need a nap today)... so this may sound weird, but I woke up startled because I couldn't "feel" Holden.  I mean, he wasn't kicking, or moving and then I went to feel my belly and he was positioned so weird (I was apparently sleeping on my back) that I looked down and felt my belly and it was like I was only 5 or 6 months preggers again... 

Maybe I was just imagining things.  

And every time I wake up (even if it's just to use the loo) Danny thinks I'm having the baby. Not so... no real progress to report. In fact, I got "checked" on Thursday ...first time since the original exam because I just didn't really see a need -- women can be dilated  at a 3 or 4 for weeks or be at practically nothing and have the baby that day -- or so I've heard... 

So the exam begins and, I kid you not, Kat (the midwife) says "I can't find your cervix." And I was laughing out loud!  I mean, you need one of those to have a baby - eh? So she found my stuff eventually but I am not effaced, I am not dilated... no thinning, no effacement... It makes me chuckle just thinking about it. But also a little relieved. As I mentioned on Facebook (and here I think), Kat's out of town this weekend... and so Monday would actually be better.  PLus, it's a good thing because I am not so attached to having the baby sooner than later.  It's actually quite freeing. (But I guess it shows I'm a bit attached to Kat.) 

That said, I think it's great that Danny and I (may) get one more weekend as just the two of us. We went to dinner last night, and watched one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.If you thought it was going to be The Princess Diaries of Dunder Mifflin, you were seriously mistaken! 

Also I'm making a public announcement that I will most likely be one of those crazy hypersensitive and overly protective moms who is going to stay home-bound for the first 2 months apres Holden's birth.  (Well, at least I'm making him stay in...the hospital has me a little freaked out about the whole RSV and flu season thing.) "Don't you judge me Earl..."

****

Post Script. Quote of the day comes from "America's Best Dance Crew" (yes, we are now having a lazy Saturday afternoon.)  Shane Sparks says, "Ya'll cloggers. Represent that." Did you have to be there or is that the funniest phrase ever to make it on A.B.D.C.? Because they seriously ARE cloggers. 

I'm Famous?

Ok, not really, but my Make & Takes (Yoga Mama) article is up.  Check it out here. (Marie put a really cool pic of Jane Fonda up, so you'll probably want to check that out.)

Cicely (my sister) thought the article I posted yesterday was the one I was doing for M&T; but not so... there is all new material.  (I was just posting that one yesterday so you could see that everyone has a 'starting point'... however basic it may be. ;)

So check it out.

I guess Holden's officially due tomorrow (according to my midwife); but I'm hoping he comes on *Monday since my midwife's out of town for the weekend, and I fear she's the only person socially equipped to deal with my neurosis with grace. ;)

Namaste 

 

*Assuming he's safe and healthy in the womb... but who am I kidding?  It's not like I really have a say in the matter...

Yogi Basics: My Beginning

Time to take a break from wondering when little Holden will get here...

Instead, I thought I’d pull from the annals of my magazine articles and take you back to my humble (and somewhat irreverent) beginning as a yogi. The article was published in the 2007 July/August edition of SkyWest Magazine; though I started with Flow in Dec 2006. (I had done a piece for St. George Magazine about it too; but I can’t find it!) Also, sounds like Friday will be my big debut on Make and Takes! So check out the article Friday at www.makeandtakes.com.

So, for you…before I became a yoga mama. (And yes, that is another preggers pic... not just my Buddah belly!)

Yoga a Go-Go

I am not a yogi master. Granted, I did inherit a Bhagavad Gita from a roommate when I was a flight attendant in Fresno. I think she picked it up from a Hare Krishna when it was still legal to solicit at the airport. However, if I were to read any sort of self-help Eastern text, I’m sure my husband would prefer it be the Kama Sutra. When it comes to mental discipline or physical flexibility, I lack significant skill in both. As a collegiate athlete, hustle and tenacity had to compensate for my height and other challenges. I was not limber. I’ve never been able to do the splits, and my ability to touch my toes seems to have more to do with squatty legs and a long torso than flexibility.

Every mental health professional or destination spa guru I’ve ever met has recommended that I find something to “calm my mind.” Not that I’ve spent a lot of time chatting up psychologists and the like, but I’ll be the first to admit that my head’s pretty active.

Enter Flow Yoga SLC. This tremendously hip studio on Salt Lake’s East Bench got its start from a swanky spot in Hell’s Kitchen, New York. Director Jennifer Ellen Mueller started the Utah operation when family responsibilities brought her back to Salt Lake and her East Milcreek roots. She said yoga saved her life. I needed something to save my mental stability and my waistline. I’ve been married less than a year and have already gone up a dress size (or two). It was time for an intervention. When weighing my options (pun intended), it was time to shed excess mind and body baggage. When my husband, Danny, agreed to try a class, how could I lose?

“Besides,” he replied, “it’s just stretching, right?” I smiled and thought I would let experience be our guide.

While Flow Yoga SLC offers a variety of classes for walk-ins seven days a week, Mr. Mangum and I picked a Saturday afternoon to turn over our new leaf. The instructor, Jami Larsen, came highly recommended from Jennifer Ellen Muller. Jami is a certified yoga instructor with more than 1,000 hours of massage and body therapy experience. Petite with a lean frame, she spoke in soothing tones. She asked participants about new injuries or specific problem areas and then started uttering (what I only could assume were ) Indian terms.

My husband leaned over. “Why is she speaking in a foreign language?” he asked. I giggled, rolled my eyes and began wishing for a workout delivered with subtitles.

“Just focus on your breathing,” I whispered, a little amused and a bit apprehensive. I smiled, took a deep breath and pulled my feet to an Indian-style posture.
Jami’s ethereal voice told us to “Take your thumb and index finger together, rest them on your knees and on the third breath release the vibration of the OM…”

Danny started laughing under his breath, but fortunately everyone’s eyes were closed. I again opted to focus on my breathing. We started moving through something called vinyasa and into “downward facing dog.” With the exception of my anxiety about my husband’s reaction to our New-Age afternoon, I was feeling pretty calm at this point.

Class continued and with each transition into a new pose, my body felt more tested and pushed. I couldn’t believe how challenging yet invigorating this was! I was warm and tingly on the inside, though that could just be the lack of oxygen to my brain. Jami was telling us to let go of our judgments, but it was hard not to judge when I could feel belly fat rolling over the top of my yoga pants.

Danny didn’t seem to be faring much better. Giant beads of sweat dripped off the end of his nose each time we moved to “down dog,” and I heard him utter some non-descript expletives under his breath. By this point, we weren’t as focused on breathing as on survival. I felt more like Yogi Bear than any sort of yogi master. My arms were shaking, my legs were aching and my breath was extinct.

But Jami kept encouraging us. “Get Brave,” she said and we were trying to balance on one leg in “tree pose.”

“It takes courage,” she continued. So we kept going, and before I knew it, we had worked our way back down to the floor and were relaxing with our eyes closed. As we exited the studio I felt longer, leaner and had more energy than when we walked into the studio. I couldn’t believe it!

“That was not what I was expecting,” Danny groaned, but with more stun than glum.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I thought yoga was going to be a bunch of people trying to stand on their heads and falling over,” he explained.

I tried to hide my amazement (and my amusement).

“So does this mean you don’t want to come back next week?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “It wasn’t too bad. I’ll go if you go . . .”

I smiled, nodded and focused on my breathing. If you are visiting SLC and in need of something more than a stretch, check out Flow Yoga. You just may see us on the yoga scene.”

Namaste!
Sabrena

Baby Watch -- Weekend Warriors?

So, not much to report as far as Holden’s arrival. I thought he was coming last Saturday (no dice). Then I thought he was waiting for his Dad to get one final ski day in (happened, but no change in status). Yesterday I was convinced he was waiting until post inauguration because he was kicking and moving and was so excited… I thought, “He really is waiting for Obama to be our president before he comes here.”

Let's recap (you've heard most of this before, but it bears repeating -- mostly just because I'm rambling and clearing my mind):

• I made cookies to take to the hospital for the attending staff. 
  
• His nursery is ready. 
  
• His clothes have been washed in organic detergent (I think I've mentioned that already).
  
• We’ve got every kind of diaper imaginable to see what works best for him (from pampers and swaddlers to “seventh generation disposable chlorine free,” “gDiapers” and a couple of brands of cloth – hemp, cotton and the like).
  
• I’ve got clothes to wear après delivery (really cute pjs from Nordies and Dillards). 
  
• Our “to go” bags are packed even though I think we’ll have hours before we need to rush to the hospital. 
  
• The house smells like a lavender plantation. 
  
• I’ve been drinking raspberry leaf tea and doing some other “things” to help kick start the process. 
  
• I’ve had energy work done, purchased “Chakra Spray” from Aveda and have even scheduled a pedicure to see if we can incorporate a little acupressure 

But yet, Holden has yet to arrive.

It’s not that I’m impatient (ok, I’m kind of impatient)… and surprisngly it’s not that I’m miserable (a little puffy, but not really uncomfortable)…it’s just that I’m so excited for him to come!

Tatum (his 5 year old cousin) told me yesterday "he’s coming in 3 days"… does she know something I don’t know? Probably. 

Also Danny gave me a beautiful blessing last night; but used the phrase “last few days of pregnancy" a couple of times – so I think the Lord’s timing is going to be more in line with my due date than an early arrival. (Yeah, I need to remind myself Holden's not even due until this weekend...and it's my first, so statistically speaking, he'd be later than earlier, eh?)

Thank goodness there’s plenty to occupy my time with…I ought to enjoy these last few days of me time, I guess. It sounds like it will never happen again.  

Bless my heart and my sausage fingers. 

Baby Yet? Ummm, not quite...

Sooo, we're on day 5 of the countdown until Holden's due date... he may come sooner, he may decide my womb is so comfortable that he'll stay a little longer. Personally, I think he's "holding"out for Obama to be sworn in until he makes his grand appearance.

I blame myself. I watched so much CNN and was such a political junkie during this pregnancy (how could I not be?) that I probably scared him into thinking it's safer to come out after the inaugural.

C'est tout. What can I do about it except for rejoice that his nursery is finally a feng shui space that is a bit more suited for his arrival?

So Holden, in honor of you imminent arrival; I thought I'd post some pics of what we've been up to this last little while... and a couple of faces you might want to get to know. ;)

This "cake" is a diaper cake your Grandma Stevie made for you (yes, your Daddy's Mom) and Auntie Annie (Danny's sister). If you'll notice they put a puppy on the top (compliments of Aunt Brooke's former beanie baby collection). This thing was choc ful of not just diapers, but socks, receiving blankets, washcloths and all sorts of baby-supplies. It was the centerpiece at the shower hosted for you a week ago Saturday...

Later that Saturday night, your cousin Tatum hosted a "show." It included her singing and dancing to Simon and Garfunkle's "Oh Cecilia." Also an A Capella rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" and "God Bless America" with her brother Max. (One of the highlights came when Max put his special twist on the lyrics: "From the mountains, to the fairies... to the ocean, like me foam!")

For the show, Tatum has also made individualized "tickets" for each of the attendees. Here's a sample:

My favourite is the one below... if you'll notice, little one, she even personalized one for you. She said babies are $1.00 (in my tummy) to come to the show; but apparently if you came out during the show, the price bumps to $3.00. I told her in some states she could get sued for that kind of pricing discrimination.

Next are a couple of photos of the "Ute Parade." You may not know this, but you have been through a lot of excitement this year between the election and the Utah Ute Football squad. Your Daddy and I went to the U of U game vs. the Team Down South and it could've put me into labor. The good news is, being preggers kept me the warmest I've ever been at a November game! We were also cheering the Utes from Eden when they finished a perfect season with the SugarBowl. Below, me and your cousin Tatum smiling at the parade.
Iona Key -- not sure how to spell that-- but he's a player for the U and he rubbed my belly at the parade for good luck! Huzzah! Now you've not only received numerous blessing and prayers from the Mormons, but Shiva Tae AND had Holy Water from an Indian Hindu temple. We're keeping our bases covered!

Here Daddy is with Tatum -- she's holding up some "Go Utes" signage and apparently shielding Daddy from some harsh UV rays! ;)

Hope to see you soon!
-mommy

Preggers Chronicles: Part Who Knows?

Dearest Holden,

I cannot believe how soon you’ll be here!!!! Due in just one week, but I think Saturday night or Sunday could be a good choice too. 

So Mommy’s been involved in some ridiculousness lately… here’s a taste.

It’s Not Easy Being Green

The Dishwasher
Remember how I wanted the new dishwasher so bad so that it didn’t hit my toe when I opened the door, and so our dishes would be REALLY clean even if we used natural products that don’t have phosphates?

Well, we’re working on it… but your Uncle Gary told me that with how old our dishwasher is we ought to try something that wasn’t sooo eco friendly. I've been using the Lemon 7th Generation variety.
Apparently my green-option was not doing the job...so we gave Cascade another chance. My dishes are the cleanest they’ve been since we moved in this house…but I am no longer phosphate free.

The Great Diaper Dilemma
Well, I told you we got some gDiapers for your arrival. Mama Suite and I also went to Riverton to get you some cloth-cloth ones too… turns out that fancy “all natural lavender laundry detergent with soy based fabric softener” I got to wash all of your things in is not the best option for washing cloth diaper inserts (be it hemp or cotton) because of the coconut and lavender oils… apparently they build up on the fabric; so even though their natural, I’m better off using tide to wash your diapers (I can’t win). 

My Size and What Comes with That

Walrus or Not…
OK, this is going to sound weird, but I’m doing much better with how large I am. I turn sideways and can’t figure out who the person in the mirror is, but I’ve been so lucky not to have all that swelling and what not (there was that little stint for about a week or two that my piggy toes and finger were totally popped and puffed sausages)...

But since I’ve been drinking more water it’s really been ok. And since you’ve “dropped” (huzzah!) I can breath so much better. I even slept through the night last night (what a good boy you are!)

Also, have I mentioned that due to my belly I have closed car doors on it (not realizing how far it sticks out), that I prefer the handicapped stall for public restrooms because it’s nearly impossible to close a normal stall door and fit inside if the toilet is placed too close to the door.

Going Potty
Speaking of restrooms (WARNING – READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! MESSAGES IN THE FOLLOWNG STORY MAY MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TOWARDS ME).

So on Wed, I had a lunch date with Auntie Linney (aka Lindsay Morgan).

We hit up Red Butte because your father would much rather go to TGI Friday’s if we’re choosing to eat on Foothill. ;) After we had said our goodbyes, and I had done a little shopping (more lavender, huzzah!) I popped back inside the restaurant to use the loo. I wouldn’t consider myself a germ-a-phobe; but I did need to put a little tp on the seat (because let’s be honest, with my belly “squatting” is not the best option.) So I did my little tinkle and was on my way.

I went to the grocery store, ran a couple of additional errands and then made it home…when my lower back got a little itchy and when I reached back to see what the deal was (it didn’t feel like my pants-tab), I found a stream of about 4 sheets of toilet paper I had used to line Red Butte’s toilet tucked in the back of my jeans.

So on Wednesday, I was Freaking Awesome Pregnant Lady with toilet paper hanging out of her pants like a braided tail on the back of a 80s stoner’s mullet… And I thought all the looks were because I’m “such a darling pregnant!” Bless my soul.

Love you!

mommy

PS. Yesterday I lost the nursing pads I bought for nursing you.  I opened the package to put them in the wash and didn't find them again until this morning.  They were in the linen closet next to the bandiads.  Now I just need to find your baby book... any clues as to where I put that? 

10 (days) or So to Go

Well Holden, we’re approaching the home stretch. This being the 13 day of January in the Year of our Lord two-thousand-and-nine; means that you are “due” in 10 days. Pssst, I don’t think you’re coming on that date; but I’m not sure if you got the memo from Daddy that he wants you here Friday. I say there is plenty to do still before you arrive and I am fine with you staying a bit longer, but not a day past 41 weeks (that would seriously foil our whole “no induction” thing and the church ladies have planned a lovely shower on Saturday for us, so it would be nice if we could both be there -- cool?)

Ok, so some thoughts for you, little one.

I cry more often than you have hiccups. I know at this point, most women are complaining about using the restroom too much; but I think my body gets rid of most of its moisture through my tear ducts. Seriously, everything makes me cry: seeing your ultrasound photos, presents we’ve got at showers, thinking about how your father’s and my life is going to change once you join us…. The fact that I’m impatient… the idea that we are going to be responsible for you…

Here’s a couple of really cool stuff that has been given to you this week:

• Grandma Beth, who passed away about 10 years ago, had knit booties for you before she passed away. She gave them to my mom to pass onto us when the time came. Needless to say, when I opened them “NIAGRA FALLS!” 
  
• Today, Grandma Stevie gave us your Daddy’s Baby books as well as some amazing clothes that your Daddy wore when he was a little one. My favorite was the outfit you wore on your blessing day – I think it will be perfect to wear on your blessing day as well. 
  

I also appreciated the t-shirt from Great Aunt Mary that said “Lock Up Your Daughters.” ☺

We’ve got a pack and play for you to sleep close to us, your car seat and stroller, and Daddy’s putting together the crib this week. (He even surprised me with a new piece of furniture to store your clothes and things in tonight. I couldn’t understand why he kept telling me NOT to stain/sand the entertainment center… but I just kept thinking, “We need a place for all of Holden’s stuff!”)

We’ve got diapers (a variety of disposable and some gDiapers) and clothes and receiving blankets and humidifier and things for you to cuddle with and a chair to rock you and if there’s anything else you need, I’m confident we’ll have you covered.

But most importantly, we are anxiously awaiting your arrival. We already love you so much. Thank you for the blessing you already are… come soon, or when you feel like it in the next 17 days... but not a day later. 

Love,
Us

My husband, the sports genius

Remember when I told you my husband started a blog?  Well, the last time he posted was December 18, 2008 when he was pitching the idea of Brian Johnson becoming the new Offensive Coordinator for the Utes. 

Funny thing about that... Gordon Monson appears to feel the same way. That's right, this morning in the Trib; Gordon Monson --sports columnist-- pitches the "CRAZY" idea that Johnson should be the new Offensive Coordinator for the Utes...an idea my husband had driving home from work weeks ago while contemplating the higher issues of life. 

Check it out, and then let him know what a genius he is...

Mama is so proud of you honey. 

Below: The man with the plan, and his niece-- Tatum. 

A word to my son (Ok, 600 or so words...)

Dear Holden,

It’s been a while since I’ve written you. I know we spend a fair amount of time together each day; and that we have such an amazing connection (no I’m not talking about your umbilical chord, but that works too)… but I wanted to take a moment and share a few things that have been on my mind lately -- since you really could be here any day. Super exciting!

We’re past the 37-week mark: you’re scheduled to be here in less than three weeks. I can feel my “ute’ practicing for the big show; and I can also feel you running out of room inside me. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between what I think is a practice contraction and you changing positions/sticking a foot somewhere.

People tell me that it will get easier to breathe when you “drop.” I’m pretty sure with even just 2 ½ weeks left, this still hasn’t happened…but maybe today? Maybe tomorrow?

You’re coming into such a cool support system. I feel like people (even outside your family) are genuinely excited about meeting you.

The consensus is that most parents feels unprepared and overwhelmed… and we’re no exception, but I can’t imagine two people that could love you more than your father and me. It’s like you were hand picked to be with us.

You’re good for me. I’m hoping I’m the same for you.

I think it’s tender how you move when I cry…almost to say, “Mom, it’s ok, be happy.” And when I get a full belly laugh, I feel like you want to join into the excitement too – almost like you’re reminding me “hey, I’m laughing on the inside—literally.” You always clam down when your father touches my belly; and drinking orange-juice is like shooting an amphetamine right in your blood stream (you go wild inside!)

I think I like this phase of pregnancy the best – even though it’s hard to breath, and there’s plenty of “hurdles” with every day tasks (like using the bathroom, slamming doors on my belly because I don’t realize how big it is, bending over, tying my shoes, and just not having the energy that I’d like to get “my list” checked off)… but it’s so amazing to feel one’s body preparing for a miracle. I’m more at ease with how full-figured I am (yeah, this is not being “big boned”), people don’t just wonder if I’m fat – it’s pretty obvious I’m preggers and about ready to pop… And the excitement of your arrival being so close overtakes the other parts.

People keep saying things like:
“Are you miserable?”
“Are you just ‘sooo-done’?”
“Are you ready to get that baby out of there?”

And surprisingly, I’m not. I mean, sure darling: I want you here as soon as you’re ready (and definitely before the 41-week mark so we don’t have to induced). And yes, it’s hard looking and feeling like a walrus (although your father so fondly pointed out the other night that I do 'lack tusks,' so we’re not entirely similar in appearance – getting rid of the mexi-stash helps too). . . But I’m not going to commiserate about the last few weeks. Unlike most people at this phase, I still get to sleep through most of the night (minus a quick potty-break around 3 am) and despite what my care-givers and numerous of those baby books have said, I’m still sporting stilettos (I think it helps me not to waddle) for church and special occasions so all is not lost. ;)

See you soon… and like I said, “dropping” would be a good project for you this week, ok love?

Mom