I need to write vents on "politique" more often. I've loved reading what everyone has to say.
As far as the polygamy bit -- I think Danny and I need to start praying for these families (you might think about doing the same if you haven't yet. But you're probably already doing that.) It takes me a while, people...
Anyway, I feel so sorry for the moms who have had their kids taken right out form underneath them; but Em, Miss (and the rest of you, it sounds like...) I have to agree with you... even under the banner of "religious freedom," I don't think it's ok for a man to take a 13-year old to be even his "spiritually" wedded wife.
One time in St. George a couple of teenage polygamists came into Maurices to shop. I was with one of my girl friends and I was so sick of "averting" my eyes... you see a lot of polys in SG... and I think there's like this unwritten rule that we don't talk to them and they don't talk to us.
But anyone that know me, knows that wouldn't fly with me for too long... so of course, I wanted to strike up a conversation.
First off, I felt like they were judging me because I had on a strappy tank and a mini skirt of sorts (this was a few years ago, obviously). Anyway, they seemed REALLY taken aback that I would be talking to them (again, the "lepers" code of conduct and all.)
It's like we looked down at them because they were so weird living on the compound... and they looked at us, like we were so evil and vein and part of the world.
These two teenage girls told me they covered themselves up; and that it was completely their choice to be where they are. There was a part of me that respected them for not being scantily clad (that's a big step for a teenager, eh?); but I didn't have the cahones (sp?) to ask them if they were married to their uncles....
I kind of wished I had...
Like I said, they seemed pretty resolute that they were choosing into their lifestyle.
So here's my question --
Is it:
a) scarier to believe you have a choice in your life when really you are trapped?
Or
b) to believe that you have no choice in your situation in life and just feel that you are trapped, playing the victim?
I hope I am choosing not be trapped, not playing the victim and always having choices.
Namaste
PS. Fred is dead (our mouse). Danny found him under the fridge today. I wanted to have a wake, but Danny decided it was best to just throw him away. I hope he goes to rodent paradise and realizes that I tried to work it out with him.
8 comments:
You've always been so smart.
Seriously, how many "normal" people look at that situation and ask themselves in what ways they are trapped, brainwashed, conditioned, whatever... usually we just see someone different, not realizing we may be doing the similar things to ourselves, with different scenery.
(Like your playboy/Hef comparison for example).
And then you take it a step further, by deciding which attitude you want to have about it.
You make me think. Now my head hurts...
Condolences about your mousebuddy...but really what could you do? Besides, the circle of life is not broken (there are still way more of them than there are of us)...so don't feel bad.
I think the real tragedy here is that you shop at Maurices.
Sabrena, I jumped over to your blog from Whit's and am so impressed with how willing you are to "go there" with these topics.
Here's my two cents (sorry it's ridiculously long):
I'm baffled by mainstream LDS who are quick to throw stones, make fun of, and scoff at the brain washing and then quickly distance themselves from the FLDS situation when, in reality, this is the EXACT reason that the Saints were persecuted back in the day (people thought polygamy was sick and wrong back then, too). We always hear about 'religous persecution' of the early Saints but in fact, it's the polygamy thing that caused the most persecution for the early Saints. We just don't hear that so much in our relief society lessons.
I used to try to make myself feel okay with all of it by saying that it was widows and unattractive women that were participating in polygamy-- when history shows that is simply not the case, not in the slightest -- some men were upset because they were sent on missions while apostles/prophets married their very own wives. Some men were upset that their pretty teenage daughters were being asked to live 'the principle'. This is not "anti-Mormon", it's just factual history, as uncomfortable as that is to accept.
The mental gymnastics to make it all "work" in my head is a struggle. The cognitive dissonance can be exhausting.
So these days, I go to yoga class and blessedly, feel inner peace there. : )
{Sabrena, if my opinion is too controversial you can erase them. It's just that this very issue started a domino effect in my spiritual life that changed much of the way that I view things these days. Obviously, it struck a nerve.}
And Cassandra -- if you are reading this -- are you coming to Salt Lake soon to visit? We're still running in the morning and I miss you. Call me if you come in town!
Meliss - don't give me too much credit; I've had my share of playing the victim AND being victimized and being too codependent to recognize it (like being "tricked" into shopping at Maurice's for example.)
;)
Chelle -
I would never delete your comments... I don't think it would be fair to write about something that's so heated on so many sides and then not allow others to voice their opinion ... I think it would be hypocritical.
Anyway, I think you've got some very valid points. I am trying to work it all out myself... so someday, when I run for mayor and someone pulls my comments off this blog and throws them back in my face -- I hope the public will see "hmm, she's just trying to work things out."
And I love the yoga for solace... I'm totally with you on that one. In fact, I love it so much I'm applying for Flow's teacher training program.
And Sassa is coming in a few weeks!!! Yey! (But I don't really think she reads my blog. So I will be sure to make sure she knows to join you for a morning run.)
Hey I need your email so email me at amyswensen@msn.com
-Faye
sabrena, okay so here is what I have to say about this one (not that anyone cares about my opinions). However, we always have choices and I think deep down even polygamists (the wives) know they have choices wether they want to be in that situation or not. IE: most people know I had a marriage annulled and I got judged bitterly over it from both church and non church members alike. I lost a lot of friends over the situation. My point is it takes a TON of courage to change your life like that and leave a bad situation so I think a lot of people make the choice to stay and be the victim etc. It might be next to impossibly hard to leave but it can be done. Like I said before I've worked with a lot of these women and they are so use to being treated like crap but I think they do choose that lifestyle to a certain extent. I love this political jabber...it's so much fun to see what people write thanks for talking about it :)!
When is your book coming out?
as soon as I write it...(and find someone who wants to publish it.)
I was going to take this week off from work to work on it... but instead danny and I came to Vail (which is a very LONG post above... but I didn't bring my journal to write about it for my personal history... so everyone can now read about our travels. ;)
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