Saturday, May 9, 2015

Three Reasons I Love Being Your Mom: Holden

Dearest Holden,

Mother's Day is approaching and I wanted to take this unique opportunity to thank you for being such an incredible son. There are so many things I love about you, but I just decided I would narrow it down to three main categories. So, here we go.

1) Your Insatiable Thirst for Knowledge and Truth
People are telling me all the time "He's so smart." I think a lot of people says kids are smart because they are good readers, or can do complex math problems at a young age. And while you are progressing brilliantly at school, it's really how your brain works that makes me swell with pride. You're always asking how and why and where. Because of you, my interest in the Humanities has once again been sparked. You've said your favorite composer is Mozart but Tchaaikovsky wrote your favorite song. I learned about the causes of the Vietnam War from you (because you asked about it, and checked out a library book) as well as the Spanish American War (that apparently was fought via Cuba).  You want to know who came first: Adam & Eve or the Dinosaurs and if we really evolved from apes (because there are skeletons showing it!) And you're the first I've heard of to hypothesize that the Virgin Mary was like an earthworm -- having both Male and Female "parts."

You know we don't keep secrets. And you try really hard to make sure we are all telling the truth. You value knowing. Yours will be a hard battle Holden. The balance between Religion - Spirituality -  Philosophy & Science is a hard one. You will have to search your mind and your heart to find a place of peace... I'm glad I have you to help remind me that it's ok not to know all of the answers, but as we grow -- more light and truth can be gained.

Sometimes I wish we were like Thor, where he says (paraphrased) that in his world, religion and science are not two separate things -- but the same thing.

2) You're Commitment to Fairness 
It's a hard lesson, but this life -- it's not fair. All you have to do is look around and see that the social and economic injustice run rampant. I'm glad you know who Martin Luther King, Jr is... and that you think it's crazy that some people weren't (and aren't) allowed to do things just because of the color of the skin or their religion.

I like that you see the beauty in people's differences. And that even though we are all unique, where it really matters we are the same. You're love of fairness and equality will often be met with pushback in your life. But continue to follow your heart. As yourself "What would Jesus do?" But ask yourself what Martin Luther King and Ghandi and the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa would do too. God is light, and truth can be found in so many places. I have to believe their is a fairness that exists somehow in the Universe -- but it is our responsibility to do what we can to help bring that fairness and peace to our world. Which brings me too....

3) Your Relationship with Peace
I say "relationship" because you are a boy. You love Superheroes and learning about Wars and the atom bomb and guns and so many things that make me sad for humanity. But at the same time, your heart is good. You adopt whales, and chose the child with Downs Syndrome in your class room to help with your birthday snack and tell me "He's my best friend." (The demarcations of "typical" "special needs" and "gifted" mean nothing to you.)

You help your sister and say you "need to protect the girls at recess." You recognize when something is bothering me and do your best to be a comfort.
Everyday you sharpen your skills of diplomacy having sweet Zoë-bug as your little sister.

Even with agression-obsession moments, you have the exact opposite moments...tender, loving, thoughtful moments. Making sure the toys you pick out don't have guns because you know I don't approve of them in our house. When you learn about war, it is already with a peace-makers heart -- asking "why, why why?"

Because of you, I am learning so much more about life.

Thanks you for your amazing mind and your HUGE heart. I love being your Mom.

Thank you for being the guinniea-pig of my experience. Please forgive me as I do my best to try and help you dream, work, love, fly and be there when you fall.

I love you Holdencito.

Happy Mother's Day to Me, ZoëBug

Thanks for the darling (early) Mother's Day present, Z. This year, I'm trying something different and writing letters to you nd Holden about why I love being your mom.

There are so many reasons why I love being your Mom, Z. But here's the first three that came to mind:

You're Strongwilled and Driven
Forget having to be worried about you being a doormat or not having a spine. It was apparent in your not-so-terrible two's that you knew what you wanted and wouldn't hesitate to do what it takes to get it. You don't let gender or size be any indication of who should be in charge.

When brother is doing something -- it's what you want to do. Be it piano, soccer, riding a bike or going to school. You'll find a way to make it happen. (Even though you're "done" with soccer by the third quarter -- you are only three!)

You're Fearless (with reason) 
You've been a climber since you could walk. And you set an example of "how-to" at the climbing gym for Holden every time we go. With few exceptions, you don't get yourself higher than you can get yourself down...and even as a toddler, learning to navigate playgrounds you had a keen spatial awareness of what ledges to stay away from and how to be safe.

I'm not saying you never fall, or get hurt. You totally do. But you're tough. And you don't let an accident get in the way of getting what you want. Last week when you fell 7feet on the playground trying to grab the zip-line; you cried and said "I want to try it again!"

You've learned to ice-skate and taken snowbording lessons -- and Dad even took you skiing (because you have to be four at Snowbasin for skilessons).

You're My Little Nursling
When your brother and I failed to have the breastfeeding relationship I had hoped for the two of us, and I found out I was pregnant with you, I committed at that moment to God that if He would help me be able to breastfeed you, I would let you self wean. Well, at three-and-a-half, it looks as if you may finally be finished. It hasn't come without challenges: a few bouts of mastitis, a nursing strike from you and obviously countless naysayers & critics (friends, family and strangers) because of our choice to keep nursing. We don't care. We connect and what we do has absolutely nothing to do with them...

It didn't happen because you never had chocolate milk, or because you're not independent... it just happened because you kept wanting too --even with me taking a week long cruise to Caribbean. You just weren't ready to let go of the connection -- and it's been a special part of our relationship.

Thanks for helping me see I could really "do it."

I love you for these and so many other reasons. Thanks for being my little Zoe-bug.

Love- Mom