Dear Holden - Halfway There!

So yesterday Holden and I reached the 20-week mark. That's right, half-way there until my little precious alien makes his official debut on planet earth not being attached to an umbilical chord. 

I fear the next 20 weeks may not go by quite as quick as the first 20... after all, I did "skip" about 10 weeks of the deal due to the fact that we weren't "trying."  Ignorance is bliss!!! (As long as you're trying to eat right, exercise and taking prenatals for folic acid.  By the way, I think I was more diligent at the whole prenatal vitamin thing before I got pregs (and my first trimester). 

But I wanted to write a little rebuttal to myself after the RNC.  I did watch a good portion of it... Admittedly, I had to tivo McCains speech due to the fact it was a busy night (flying home from Denver, YW Volleyball and then my lady friends got together for Red Mango as Christianne Valentiner was in town... good luck with the LotoJa today Chris!!  You'll do great!) So I will still watch it; Danny thought he did a good job.  My mom thought he was totally boring... and my father was unimpressed.  I am going to wait and see.

I was actually surprised more of you didn't come to bat for him on my last post.  Sometimes I think people are afraid they might "offend" me... not when it comes to politics, my pretties. While it may make me sad (the other night I came home in tears crying to Danny that I was worried about bringing a child into this world if another Republican was elected for 4 more years of the same route, but we can chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, I'm sure.)  But you won't offend me... especially if your comments are well thought out, and show a consistency with your world view and starting point (for example "Democrats Suck, they just want to take your money" does not show a consistently thought out platform as Obama has promised tax relief to 95% of Americans...most of us don't fit into the tax bracket he's going to make pay.)

But enough politics for a bit... 

Lets focus on Holden (or at least the pregnancy).  Afterall, he is the man (or fetus) of the hour....

He's roughly the size of a small cantaloupe and you can totally tell in my lower abdomen.  I'm pretty excited that I haven't blown up like a balloon, because let's be honest... I've been walking a tight rope of "chubbs mcGee" (as Cicely calls it) my entire life... Most of my clothes still fit; they just need the top button unbuttoned once in a while. (Remember when I was complaining last winter about how fat I had gotten and I had to buy fat-pants at Smith's Marketplace? Well, it turns out, they are excellent for breathing room in month 5 of pregnancy.) 

Holden, I thank you for that -- thank you for not craving crappy food so mommy turns into a porker. I think the thing that's grown the most is my... hmm, Pamela Anderson parts. No joke, I don't know how to say this politely but I think my breasts are approaching adult-film proportions.  What happens when these things fill up with milk instead of just blood and sebaceous tissue?  I'm going to have to get a new postal district... one for me, and one for the "twins." I will say, my husband is NOT complaining... but he's not too partial to the new brazziers I picked up for 7 dollars at JC Penny either (what a change from Victoria's Secret.)  He said they look like those Playtex/Maidenform full coverage support bras for grandmas...  

No one said pregnancy was glamorous... 

So a letter to Holden, part two. 

Hey little guy,

It's been fun feeling you down there. I swear yesterday you did a back flip.  

Sorry it took mommy so long to get food the other day.  I keep forgetting that when I'm hungry, it means you're hungry.  I'm used to "celebrating" my hunger pains from years of failed diets... hunger meant "I must be making progress!!!" Not so much with you in the womb - eh?  I promise to do better... 

So I wanted to document the coolest thing that happened yesterday in church.  You probably won't remember it, so I wanted to tell you all about it.  We were in St. George for the Labor Day Holiday and went to church with your Dad, Mama Suite and Grandpa (The Old Man, as he likes to be referred to.) We were singing a hymn and your grandparents both have really great voices -- so does your Daddy by the way, even if he can't read music. So we're singing... and harmonizing and the vibrations are beautiful and all the sudden the spirit totally whispers to me that you love it... like you can  actually feel the vibrations of my voice! So I get totally choked up because I feel your precious little spirit so strongly that I have a lump in my throat chakra. And without even realizing it, Mama Suite stops singing too because she can totally feel it... and after the hymn, our eyes are all watery and she puts her hand near my belly and says "You better play the hymns in your house.  He really likes it."

Your spirit was so strong even Mama Suite could feel your presence through the womb! I had not even said anything about it to her... I think that's pretty freaking awesome! 

I love you so much. It's so crazy that you already have such a distinct personality (like telling me to "chill out" the other day when I was in yoga --supposedly meditating -- but mostly worrying about if you were ok, and if you'd be a good teenager... or even if you'd like me.) I think you get the chill thing from your father and your hyperness in the womb from me. I was always anxious to get onto the next thing.  But please stay in there a bit longer.  You've got some seriously developing to do, and if we're going to go the "natural" route -- we both need to be in our best shape!

OK, darling Holden,  Time to go to yoga.  

Love eternally,

your mom