It's 2 am. I slipped away from laying you in bed with Daddy to pump real quick because you've been attached to me (literally) for the past few hours. It's dreadful (not you being attached to me, but); this morning you woke up sick.
I guess I knew eventually we'd have to go through this. I was just hoping since you've been taking breastmilk for nearly 5 months (happy b-day on Sunday) that you were pretty much invincible. But both sides of the extended family have been sick from cousins to grandparents; and so I suppose it was only a matter of time.
Fortunately it's not swine flu, or flu-flu, or anything that appears to be life threatening. But your father and I might die of broken hearts listening to your tiny cough and wheezing-sneezing. I feel so helpless. I don't know how to make it better. I feel like all I can do is hold you, and that isn't even enough.
I've never seen you sleep so restlessly.
I've never seen you so uncomfortable.
And I haven't felt like I let you down this much since the hospital.
The doctor said to it looked like you were "trying to catch a cold." It looks like you caught it...
Please forgive me for my missteps and fumbling as I try to figure out what to do for you. I don't mind being up with you. It just breaks my heart that you're having problems sleeping, and that you're not getting the rest you need.
You're just so small, and so sad right now.
Please help me find a way to make it better....
Mommy loves you,