Monday, July 21, 2008

Pregnancy Chronicles – Part Deux

Sorry for the delay my pretties. I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into with this yoga-life 2008!

Currently, I am so happy to just be sitting down… but after reading everyone’s comments and well wishes; I am so full of gratitude I just wanted to say thank you from the fullest most expansive part of my heart (yes, I’ve been doing a lot of “heart opening” in yoga.)

Here’s some things I’ve noticed about pregnancy… you mothers (or husbands who have been through this, please feel free to weigh in on if I’m going crazy…)

I fell as if I am embracing my inner Elvis, best described in the words (which are a cover, I note)… “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog…”

#1 I cry a lot! Last weekend my dad bought me a “lemon lime and tiger’s blood snowie” at the Bees game that I was so grateful for I started crying. Who knew heart opening extended to shaved ice?

#2 Go go gadget nostrils… because beyond the crying, there is the SNIFFING!!! Holy crap! Danny ate garlic a week ago and I could still smell it days later (poor guy). We’ll be driving down the street and I’ll start getting a little gaggy… like “EW! What smells like fried chicken?!?!” And three blocks ahead of us there’s a KFC. The Colonel’s secret recipe is not sitting well with this fetus.

I could lay down for a 15 minute nap, and never return from Neverland…
#3 Tired, tired, tired…. This isn’t really a fair one because I’ve heard pregnancy makes you tired from just “being.” The preggers Bible “what to Expect When You’re Expecting” says I exhaust more energy just sitting than Danny does at the gym… but I’m not sitting much… I’m yoga a go-go-ing about 9 – 13 hours a day. Thankfully only about 4 - 6 hours of it is actually postures, but still… wouldn’t that wipe me out even if I wasn’t making a placenta?!?!

OK, so enough of that… let’s get you up to speed in my crazy fabulous OBGYN. I’m actually switching to a mid-wife (yes, to give birth in the woods with a stick in my mouth.) No I kid… it will still be at the hospital, and I’ll keep my OBGYN as a back-up in case there are any complications… but I’d live to take the road less traveled if possible, and try to do this thing the old fashioned way. ☺ We’ll see how it goes since I start sweating from the pain when I’m getting laser hair removal done…) But I think natural child birth is like running a marathon… you train, you do the best you can do… but you can’t wake up the morning of and think, hmmm today I’ll run the Boston Marathon. There’s some back end work – mentally and physically – that needs to happen if you’re going to make it happen…. (understanding my birth clan totally includes clauses for whatever’s best for the baby… like if I need to be cut open or something, you know? I mean, you just never know.)

OK, so if you’re still with me… the crazy OB/GYN:

Danny attends the appointment with me, and the nurse that meets with us initially is so super practical… I’m pretty sure she can tell I’m totally Type A because I have a list of my initial questions that’s about two pages long; and that’s AFTER I’ve read all of the supplemental chapters in “What to Expect” been on AND been to my family practice doctor.

In a nutshell, she explains that the Doc is pretty mellow, no ultrasounds unless there’s a concern until about the 16 week (depending on need) and that I shouldn’t be so stressed out about making everything perfect.

I pee in a cup, talk about how I’ve been feeling and get some blood work done. When we return the Doc is in his office and invites us in. He’s got Led Zeppelin playing in the back ground, and I compliment him on his taste in music. He muses about John Bonham (which is my favourite drummer too, but I leave that detail out)… and then he begins (what appears to be a ritual) of dumping a box of good-n-plentys on his desk and invites us to partake…

Um, doesn’t he know I’m preggers and therefore am trying to limit my intake of processed sugar for the health of my child? Not to mention the dangers of HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP?!?!? EEK!

He begins to explain to us why this particular Zeppelin song is so amazing (switch from ¾ time to 5/8 time or something…) At one time, as I’m sipping on my ½ gallon water jug (because “What to Expect has told me the importance of keeping hydrated) he remarks, “Dang woman, you’re going to drown!” So much for my baby-your-baby efforts.

I ask him some questions about our birth plan:

Me: ”So how do you feel about hydro birthing?”
Doc: “Great idea if you want your baby to drown.”
Check, so no hydro birthing.

Me: “But jacuzzi’s are ok?”
Doc: “I don’t care if you want to give birth in the shower as long as you don’t mind washing my back.”
Ew, Maybe rethink the water idea…

Danny, I might mention, is eating this up (not to mention the stash of good-n-plenties). At one time the Doc warns against water skiing because if I fall, and the water shoots up into my vagina (sorry, had to write it) with some sort of bacteria that can lead to infection of the baby… and the baby dies in me, infecting me and ultimately I die… so again, the water thing has taken a turn for worse.
So I’m steering clear of wake boarding this year.

Doc: ‘Listen, women have been doing this for thousands of years. I don’t know what kind of pregnancy you’re going to have. May be easy, may be terrible… my advice? Don’t go skydiving without a parachute, rock climbing without a rope… and stop reading so much. That ‘What to Expect’ book was written by lawyers…”

By this point, I think Danny is going to jump across the desk and hug our OB. (My Mom’s always telling me I read too much too.) He’s totally grinning, like “I knew you didn’t have to be so OCD about this thing….”

Doc: “Listen, here’s what I do. I carry around a fire hose. If I see smoke, I put out the fire.”

By this point, any reference to water are not going so well. I decided to save my questions about hypnobirthing and Lamaze classes for another day. I wasn’t going to get much more out of this visit… the nurse had answered my questions… they gave me a list of things to avoid (medicines, h20 skiing, etc) and didn’t seem to care that I was onl getting 30 grams of protein a day instead of the recommended 75 (I think my baby’s a vegan. Bless his heart).

The moral of the story? Even though the doc is a little nutty, I have every confidence in the world that if there were any complications, he would be the guy I’d want taking care of me. Cut to the chase and take care of business. That’s what I want in the case of birthing complications… but for my pregnancy, I’d think I’d like someone who pays as much attention to my uterus as the time count of Jon Bonham.


hopefully i'll writer sooner next time.


Bree said...

Ahhh Suite-I'm so happy that's you and not me, since the last time we met, i was the one with bun in the oven and you were just talking about it! Congrats! So Fun...i agree with the doc, QUIT READING!!! I just left the baby book on the back of the toilet and Matt read it and just updated me on the stuff he thought i needed to know so i would quit freaking out about every little symptom.
p.s. i have all the hypnobirthing stuff if you're interested...Ash Storheim is a pro as is Merilee Hopkin (Bryce's wife)...I on the other hand SUCK at it, but I gave it a shot! congrats again! bree

Laura said...

HI!!! Remember me? Dave's wife...
I came across your blog through Marie's fabulous MakeandTakes. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is FANTASTIC! When are you due? I think its so funny how much you have read, I was the same with our first (now we have three). FYI- I did hypno with our last baby and it was FABULOUS, I love every minute of labor, can't wait to do it again. Hope all continues to go well!

Amy R. said...

is your doc, Dr. Wilde by chance? Sounds just like my OB who delivered my Thing 2. Anyhoo, good luck with the whole natural birthing thing. I tried, but I guess 10 pound babies are kinda hard to get out. Shoulda known.

ashli said...

congrats,congrats! the joys of motherhood....right from conception. :) i highly reccomend hypnobirthing. there is not a better way to do it if what you want is what you wrote. such good practical skills to take the marathon of labor. ( i had two epidurals and two hypnos. much prefer the hypnos) You hang in there! and keep keeping us informed and entertained by your candid yet so very real writing!

aimee heff said...

congrats on the baby baking in the belly. scott and i are excited for you guys.

i have a few friends up here that are into the home births. they are crazy passionate when they get talking about it.

i say do whatever feels comfortable to you and don't let others judge you. there are many ways to get the baby out!

have fun in the process.

daveandabbyjohnsonfamily said...

Yeah friend! Congrats on being preggers!

Darth Spencer said...

I enjoyed your comment about giving birth in the woods with a stick. It made me think of the Kevin Costner, Robin Hood movie when Little John's wife does just that. Though I must admit that she was lucky to have Morgan Freeman's smooth voice to help her guide her baby down her vaginal barrel.

Vaginal barrel is my favorite phrase that I learned from the Bradley Meathod book.

Ape said...

I am laughing out loud at my desk here at work. You are so funny, get lots of sleep and enjoy your pregnancy! April

cristie said...

you make me laugh! eight kids later my advice would be...I HAVE NONE...i do believe in earplugs. xox

Cicely said...

You're pregnant?!!

Melanie said...

WOW..congrats with the prego, congrats with the house, congrats with the job, congrats with the yoga, basically congrats with everything! So good to see you guys are doing good! We are in Texas!! We love it here. We miss everyone though!
Melanie Smoot.

Melinda said...

I'm a bad blogger friend. I saw your post and it's taken me forever to tell you CONGRATULATIONS! It's the most wonderful time in your life just relax and enjoy these moments, they are over too quickly. I wish you guys all the best of luck with all the birthing stuff, bottom line is you have to do what feels right for you and the baby. I loved the idea of going natural but when it came down to it, it wasn't the best choice for me due to some extenuating circumstances which would have affected the baby but I didn't beat myself up over it, I had the best birth experience of my life. They gave me the lowest form of pain medication and I could still walk and feel the experience. I know you didn't ask for my two cents and i'm sure you'll hear everyones stories but I just wanted to throw that one out there. Keep posting, I love reading your thoughts, you are one heck of a writer.

swensen clan said...

Oh Suite - you crack me up. Good to have a back up doctor. i had both C-sections with my girls - didn't know on the first so good thing I had my doc. Anyway, thanks for some serious fun reading!

WIKKY said...

Ummmm, midwife huh? That is great though. I am completely kidding about that. Whatever works to help you through the process is worth it. I am with Danny though, read but don't read. Take little parts of all that you read and put them together in your own little book. Don't take it all to serious.
It is great that you are doing yoga training right now cause it is taking your mind off of being preggers for a while. It will go by faster, I promise!
Woo Hoo, still just as excited as when I read you were pregnant in your first post.
Ya... no waterskiing sista, just be careful.

Erin said...

THis made me laugh right out loud. Oh Sabrena, I miss you. I look forward to the day that we can sit down and have a good heart to heart, even if it's over the phone. WE love you guys. I'd love to talk to you about the wonderful details of pregnancy- my sense of smell hit super-power strength as well, it was amazing how I could identify individual items in our garbage can that was across the room. I admire you so much and just hope that you continue to do well. Love you so much,

Nate&Jacque Holt said...

oh the joys of going to the doctor for our babies. totally worth it. good luck with everything. love your writing.

freefun0616 said...