OK, so time for some confession, because I'm an edgy Mormon, not a catholic... so instead of confessing my sins to a priest, I just post them out to cyberspace. (That is the nice thing about being LDS, you really only have to trouble clergy with the big things.)
Here's my truths:
- I am on day five of eating no bread - no desserts (somewhat low-carb, because I only eat pasta if it's a whole grain wheat variety... thank you Cassandra). I thought I'd be thinner. Like I went shopping at Anthropologie (sp?) this afternoon for a dress for my date tomorrow night, and I seriously thought that the size-10 dresses I was trying on should've been entirely baggy... they weren't. In fact, they fit fine. (PS. I still maintain I AM NOT DIETING. This is more like a detox... I totally swore of diets for 2008. Maybe I should get back on "the secret"... I lost like 5 lbs doing that thing.)
- One time I paid Village CLeaners $65 to do our washing... not our dry cleaning, just like 8 loads of laundry... they wash and fold it and charge you by the pound. I have to be honest, it was one of the most bloody brilliant decisions I've ever made. Like, if I'm ever in a crunch like that again (which I really shouldn't be since there are 2 washing machines and two dryers at our place), well, I will totally use them again... Great trick moms!!!
- Also, I am at a portly 160 pounds. Why do I share this? Because at a 5'5' (ok, 5'6" if I round up to the nearest half inch), someone ought to hold me responsible for the fact that if I get into swimsuit in this condition when we head to Hawaii this summer, I can just see the mermen yelling"harpoon it!" I don't need a plastic surgeon for a tummy tuck, I need a Flenser.
- Speaking of fat chicks making out....Danny and I have "date night" scheduled for tomorrow... we're headed to Upstate Utah for dinner and then we're staying at MooseHollow Condos. Uber fab... While we haven't officially removed the protection from the goalie, I imagine we'll do some practicing for "procreate in 2008." I know we're already well into 1Q, but I think we've got plenty of time.
Well, the darling husband has already made his way to bed, so I think I will join him. I'm taking a "comp" day from work tomorrow -- you know since I worked a Saturday and all... so tomorrow is a glorious day of yoga, and then hair and makeup at the salon... tres chic...
I am going to have them get me all dolled up like a mormon variety of Kim Kardasian (with shorter hair, and smaller boobs)... though I think we share a similar back side. ;)
Hopefully Danny and I will have some pics to post.
g'nite.
ssm
9 comments:
Ahhh, too funny! You write so well, it's fun to read your happenings. Have a fun date!
Have fun on your date! I am sure you will look FABULOUS!
I had to click on Flenser because I had no idea what it was! YOu are too funny. Enjoy your date and sleeping with someone that snores. I snore, so you can complain with my husband about that one!
You posted your weight on the internet and that makes you my new hero. Seriously gutsy, and your whole post made me laugh.
A wonderful read as usual.
I particularly love that you have a labeled category that says, "sex with my husband".
You are just plain awesome.
I find it super disturbing that "sex with my husband" is one of your posting labels.
And BTW- you do look fabulous. I'm pretty sure that Danny loves your wobbly bits.
I wish I was having that date with my hubby...lucky you! Hey and don't worry about the 160 lbs!!! I am in the same boat man! I hate always trying to lose the pounds after the twins were born my body has never been the same and I would just like to give up...I hate that all my friends are like size miniature...like you Whitney! How does she do it after 4 kiddos? Anyway, hope you had a great overnighter!
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