Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I could be Hot too -or- Beyonce in my Water Closet

Yesterday was a day of cleaning... no seriously, I got one of those Screamin' Daily Deals (kind of like Groupon) for three hours of cleaning; so of course I spent the entirety of Tuesday morning (and most of Monday) trying to get my house ready for the cleaners. Sounds a bit ridiculous right? But I didn't want to waste their time with rearranging my piles of junk when they could be scrubbing my toddler floors and potty training bathrooms (ick).

My point is, come see my house today because it will never look like this again... scratch that' if you don't get here by dinner-time all bets are off.

No, my real point is, what I did is not glamourous. And while Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" was playing in the background (I had my 'marathon running mix' on); I stared thinking how hot she looks in that Deja-vu video, and how luscious that woman is... all those fans blowing her hair and her getting more bounce to the ounce and curves going crazy (literally)... perfectly chosen designer 'outfits,' perfectly choreographed moves and not so much as her eyeliner smugged (unless it's done on purpose).

She's like a Kings of Leon song ("Your Sex is on Fire") perfectly packaged to make people like my husband salivate (ok me too); but more importantly, (and while most likely NOT her intent), to make people like me feel frumpy.

But then it dawned on me, I could look hot too if I had millions of dollars behind me -- dressing me, 'fanning' me perfectly, photoshopping my wobbly bits...and don't even get me started on making time for working out. This woman's body is part of her 'brand.' I'm doing my best just trying to lose baby weight and get an endorphin rush to stay off Paxil.

Sure nobody's paying money to watch yours truly--the un-single lady --put her hand up in a cup (so to speak) or get Bootylicious. And the only 'fanning' I'm getting in Mommyland are ceiling fans and in our loo (not so fabulous).... but I'm pretty sure the MTV machine could even make this mama look like hot sex on a platter.

But better yet, I just think about how glamourous Beyonce would look scrubbing my toilets. Fan optional.


Melanie said...

I. LOVE. BEYONCE! ...feels so good getting that out there. Glad someone else see's her the way I do :D.

Erin said...

Good point!

For the record, I think you are as sassy and beautiful as Beyonce any day of the week, and that's without any of the packaging. Sabrena Suite-Mangum, frumpy? Impossible.

Meesh said...

You make me laugh, oh and Matt just told me the other day that he thinks the fans on Beyonce are bizarre, so funny that you mention it!!!

WIKKY said...

She is volumptious and lovely and curvy and beautiful but.... I think that you are way better than her!!! Cause you wash your own toilet!!!! You rock!

Melissa: said...

What Wikky said!

Besides, I saw you on T.V. without all that fancy stuff and you looked gorgeous.