Kids say the darndest things, eh? Well here's a collection of the highlights from Holdencito (or at least the ones I remembered to post on Facebook.)
December 2:
“Mom, do you know what I wish they had? A Jesus
video game for your iPod: so you could go through different Jesus stories and
be in them telepathically.”
Nov 21
"I like regular plays better than ballet-plays
because I don't speak 'actions.'"
Nov 19
"Prayers are like a mailbox for
Jesus."
Oct 18
Finishes his first triathlon and when Danny asks
him what the hardest part was, he replied:
"Did you know in races you have to
litter?"
"I think what happened is... Well, you know when you get brain damage?
Well I think I got brain damage from hitting heads
with Dad and it just trickled down into my feet."#thatwhatitsallabout
sept
Me: What do you want for dinner Holden?
HDM: I’d be fine with crab legs.
August 18
HDM: Mom, will you tell Zoë the story
about Satan tempting Jesus.
Me: You tell her; you tell it so good!
HDM: Well, it was a really bad day for Jesus....
June 4
Holdensim (a tale):
"Good news Mom!" He exuded,
coming into my room after working on a project in his playroom. "We're not
going to have to get a new Mom!"
Oh, I felt so relieved. He's realized how
awesome I am and he's coming to tell me he was just tired.... maybe even
apologize.
"We're just going to turn you into a
robot mom, instead." He takes out a bunch of pictures (blueprints, I
guess) showcasing the various stages of the solution he's come up with.
"You're turning me into a
ROBOT?!?!" I ask.
"Yeah, because robots can just do
whatever you tell them."
I ask him how he's going to do this. The
plan includes setting my hair on fire, shaving my head and replacing my brain
with a robot brain.
"OK," I say. "Where is this
brain you're putting in me? I'm not doing any of this until I see the brain
you're replacing mine with."
He pulls out a pictures of a red and black
oval-like shape. "Here it is!"
I ask him how that's going to work. It's
just a paper, I tell him.
"Well," he says, "we'll put
ideas in it."
March 30th
A mother's night-time lament:
Holden woke up 30 minutes ago telling me his feet were
"bubbling." I tried rubbing them (11:05pm), lotion (11:10pm), taking the
lotion off and rubbing them with cool wet cloths (11:17pm), and then elevating
them with a pillow (11:20ish?)
Shortly after (11:26), he requested
"shields" for his feet... Which translated apparently to mean his
gold sparkle TOMS because, according to him:
11:31 he just told me he needed to "get the
wiggles out" and proceeded to sing and dance to a couple of verses of the
Hokey Pokey.
St. Patty's Holdenism:
Me: Did anyone talk about leprechauns
today?
Holden: Yes, but my teachers said they aren't real. I
insist they're lying.
February 25
Holdenism 7:12am. After laying out
his breakfast he had some concerns about his roll with frosting:
"Mom, I don't want to eat the super
truffle. If I eat it, I'll be too powerful. I don't want to be the most
powerful person in the universe. I just want to be a normal kid."
Feb 18
As he's spray painting the sandbox we
built today:
"Well it turns out I'm a fan of red
dye."
Jan 28
(Backstory - we returned from a cruise in the Carribean to discover our home had been burglarized...this was Holden's lunch-time prayer, and plea:
"Bless that the guy will give us back our
jewelry and our computer. Bless this food will strengthen us. And bless the President will not lead us to darkness."
Nov 12
Parent-Teacher Conferences tomorrow.
We received
Holden's Progress Report electronically... it's 23 pages. While he got an
"always" in the "makes friends" category, he received a
"seldom" in the "works independently" column.
