FAT TUESDAY FEBRUARY - You Can Help!

With ditching the pump fast on the horizon, I am hoping the last of this weight will come off. My pediatrician said some women hold on to the last of the 'baby weight' until they're done nursing...so I am hoping that is the case for me, and it won't be too much of a challenge with exercise and a change in diet (notice how I didn't say "going on a diet.")

I'd like to loose about 10 lbs...ok, I'd like to loose 30 lbs, have a 24 inch waist and moonlight as a fitness model, but I'm trying to be realistic...10 pounds seems reasonable right?

This did not seem real accessible during the great lactation period of '09 because my production seemed inexorably connected to the amount of water I was drinking/loosing; and how many cupcakes I was eating (ok, just what I was eating overall... but cupcakes really seemed to put the mammary glands into overdrive! And in other news...when was the last time you read a non-medical blog that use the word mammary?!?!)

Mmmmmmm, 25 Main...

Photo from http://brittneychudleighart.blogspot.com/

Losing 10 lbs puts me a few pounds over my marriage weight. I was 143 on our wedding day.

And I know that sounds like a lot for someone who is barely over 5'5", but to me it was a comfortable Banana Republic size six... So that's what we're working towards - not to mention my SIL is getting married on the beach in Hawaii in about 6 weeks and I don't want anyone yelling "HARPOON IT" because of my back fat.

So here is what I propose blogosphere -- are you out there? Anyone listening???

Rules for the February Experiment

• Every Tues I am posting my weight as stated on the Mangum family scale in our horribly outdated tan-tile bathroom (get it? Fat Tues? I am so clever.)

• Every day, whether I write a 'real' blog or not, I am going to document what I ate for the day (thus one of the reasons I have been blogging more consistently lately. I'm trying to get in the habit for Feb.) Publicly 'journaling' my eats will hopefully serve two purposes #1-keep me from eating crap because I'll be too embarrassed to tell you what a heifer I am and #2 - help me understand what is actually going into this body of mine

• Weekdays I will post if I worked out or not...I'm giving myself the weekends off, but I think a reasonable goal is 30 minutes of exercise 3 - 4 times a week.

• I am going to practice satya.. or as one says in yoga 'truthfulness'. Meaning I really am going to tell you when I'm a slacker....and I will be embarassed about it, and you can be embarrassed for me.
  

What a ridiculous and horrible experiment. But it just may work.

We are also trying to adopt Michael Pollan's guidelines from "In Defense of Food;" I'm reading Mark Bittman's "Food Matters" and it feels like the perfect time to really dive in.

Goodbye High Fructose Corn Syrup, Processed Food and Food-like products... hello new me (coming in approximately 4 weeks).

Just so you know, I plan on eating cupcakes at Holden's birthday party (Monday)... and chocolate cookies at Danny's (the entire weekend, but it's actually the 5th).

We're getting off to a great start!

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Burnin' The Breastpump -or- The Medela can Suck It!

Holden's 1st b-day almost upon us. I should've made a paper chain to count down because with the transition to HDM turning one, I am also burning the Medela (ok, not so drastic, but definitely putting it away for a while.) My "production" is already on the wane, so I don't see it being that big of a deal....but I am biting my nails a lot lately which tells me I have some anxiety about the situation.

I will miss the insurance that comes with added immunity and antibodies for Holden. The price is definitely cheaper than Winder Dairy Whole milk, and it has been a blessing to more than just Holden.

(More details on this later -- see end of post.)

If he was still actually nursing, I don't think I'd be as excited about weaning at a year; but maybe I'll experience that with a different child.

Mixed emotions...definitely:

Things I will not miss about pumping:

• pumping in the car
• pumping on airplanes (in the middle seat...)
• pumping in public restrooms
• pumping in hotels
  
• pumping in the movie theater (oh yes, it's happened more than once)
  
• living my life in 2 or 3 0r 4-5 hour increments
• feeling like a dairy cow
• washing, sterilizing, assembling, cleaning, storing, etc
• The sound...oh the awful sound.
  
• Nursing bras
• The time...(4 - 8 times a day, 15- 20 minutes each time for 12 months means over 50,000 minutes of my life which I think roughly equates to OVER A MONTH!!!).

Which explains why I will not miss:

• Holden's face when he wants to be held and I'm 'hooked up' (in the least cool sense of the word)

Danny may miss me being topless. He said that's how he imagined marriage... his wife just walking around with her shirt off all the time.

What is it with men and thinking that when women are alone we just walk around 1/2 naked or in our skivvies?

I've shared with many of you how hard it was for me that Holden and I never really 'got' the nursing thing, but I don't think it was from lack of trying:

• Lactation Consultants
  
• Trips to Lactation Station
  
• La Leche League phone consultations and a meeting
• Spoon feeding, cup feeding
• Hours on Kellymom.com
• Nipple shields

Pretty much everything short of a wet nurse...

The History
I started pumping at the hospital, and basically have been doing so ever since. Needless to say, the first few months I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it... pumping eight times in a 24-hr period AND trying to nurse made me feel like my entire life revolved around breastmilk.

At four months, Holden completely refused to latch...but I kept going. I had made the decision to nurse Holden for at least a year, and this was the closest I could get to it. It wasn't like I didn;t have enough milk (oh there was plenty to go around!)

In the earlier months I would sometimes lay in bed (when I should've been sleeping) or sitting at the pump and ask God why it was so hard for me -- childbirth (Labor & Delivery), nursing... why didn't 'motherhood' come easily for me?

Why didn't Holden want to nurse?
Why was it such a struggle?
Why, why why?

But I kept pumping...because I thought it was best for Holden. (And I thought it would make me thinner, but the last 5-10 lbs of baby weight really just hung around.)

Turns out, it wasn't just about Holden.

The story kind of chokes me up, and I don't want to sound all self serving, but I think it's best if I let my sister tell you about it. If you want the Reader's Digest version:


Her daughter (just 6 weeks older than Holden) got really sick and was in desperate need of liquid gold. I had ample. In fact, at one time was consistently producing 50-plus ounces a day. It seemed to help.


So I stopped being upset about being tied to the pump for the past year. I started thinking that in the craziness of life with the Medela, that there are some real miracles that have come because of it ...if Holden was latching I would've NEVER felt the need to pump so much.
I would've never had the storage and would've never been able to help little Faye.

Everything is perfect.
(When will I finally learn this lesson?)



Oh! I almost forgot...If you have extra milk or know of anyone who has excess, let the Mother's Milk Club of Utah know. There's info on it here.

Sex Sells (or at least got people to my blog)

Remember my sexual resolutions? Mominatrix sponsors The month of Love (oh, you thought that was February? Hmmm, standby).. well, ok then...The month of Lust is coming to a close.

I will be honest, some of the challenges got a little racy for this Mormon Gal from the S-L-C. So I have not yet completed all of them (but we continue to creatively plug away.)

Danny has been very interested in my progress. As anyone who's been following along knows, not all of the challenges require a partner (get your mind out of the gutter).

I mean like getting refitted for a bra from Victoria Secret (as if I need the internet's permission to spend money.) But it was so nice to invest in some "lingerie" that was not of the 'nursing' variety (catch my drift?). A bra without FLAPs just seems, I don't know... sexier? Um, yeah.

Man, I am blushing at the computer writing this because I know there are people reading this blog that I see at church.

Moving on!

Another delightful task included making a sexy 'playlist'... Danny and I Got the Led Out and then some. 'It was legit.' (I used this phrase entirely to much in my early 20s... I know, embarrassing for me, right?)

The Mominatrix kind of has a potty mouth sometimes, so read at your own risk...but it has been an interesting "resolution" and one that I will carry well into the New Year and beyond (especially once I stop the milk-production and get the old hormones back.)

Additionally, this will make post #2 about "Joining the Sexual Resolution" in the month of January qualifying me for the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes -- or at least being entered into the Mominatrix's giveaway.

VIVA LA WHATEVER!!!

The State of Our Union

So Obama gave his state of the Union tonight.
Well done Prez, well done.

It got me to thinking:
Remember this photo at 25 weeks preggers?

Something must've worn off on Little Bits in utero, because after hearing all the news (on NPR of course) about the upcoming State of the Union address, this little guy has added a new 'mix' to his logarithmically increasing vocabulary.
Besides "Mama," "Dada," "OM" and "yeah" (we're trying to encourage "yes" instead), he now says
'OBAMA.'

Ahhh, the brainwashing has begun. *Talk amongst yourselves.

*Or on my comments.

Breath & Bliss

This was my 'intention' at yoga class tonight--breath and bliss. It was a beginner class (Jami L. I love you, girl!), but it felt so appropriate to be there. I think there is something to be gained at any level of 'practice' in yoga because you can always come back to the breath...or revisit the basics of a posture and settle into the bliss of pushing yourself further ...even if your ego is saying "I can do this pose. I've done it a million times." (Though, having only practiced Asana for the last three years, there really isn't ANY pose I've done a million times.) But you get my point.

PS. I had to calm down my ego a few times tonight; get it in check and remind myself that practice is not about what anyone else is doing on their mat. A little yogi went to market and needed a serious dose of Pratyahara. (My guru calls it 'staying on your mat.' Basically, not looking around at everyone else to see where you fit it... and what's going down et cetera. i.e. Withdrawing one's senses.)

For the better part of the past year, my yoga practice has been Holden. Sure I've been teaching a little on the side, but my primary focus for finding/having Union ("Yoga") has come in the quiet and blessed moments of stumbling through motherhood.

• Finding balance -
• Wanting perfection from the beginning -
• Trying to force something that isn't there -
• Letting go -
• Finding joy in being stretched -

Whether good or bad, all of these can be applied to the yoga of life, the yoga of motherhood, or just the yoga of rolling out your mat and showing up to practice. And that's what I love about yoga, especially when I'm standing on my head upside down (literally and figuratively.)


******
In other news, Holden's "Down Dog" is coming along beautifully (he just started doing it one day on his journey to conquer standing & walking). Holden and I have also been "OM-ing" as part of our sleep/nap time ritual. He's great at it. It's also been helpful in calming him down if he's upset about something too. I think there's something so simple and beautiful about the fact that one of the first sounds a baby can make is that of the universe... Kind of fitting, isn't it?

Namaste Yogis.

And please forgive the typos. It's past my bed time and I'm going to sleep now.

Has Hell Frozen Over?

No, that's just a delightful picture of 'my boys' in Upstate Utah.

But apparently the apocalypse will shortly be upon us, because Danny updated his blog for the 3rd time in two years.

Validate him...Leave him comments. It's his birthday on February 5th. All he wants is your approval (or not).

The Randoms are Back

Grand Old Party

Holden turns 1 on February 1st. We are having an 'Elephant' themed party in honor of his favorite Hindu God - Ganesh.Holden Eating his favorite Ganesh Toy

Ganesh (a more easily recognized photo... also Holden is not eating his face.)

I sent out a few invitations to family and a couple of friends. Our friends (who happen to live in our basement and listen to Glen Beck) asked if we were having a Republican themed party. Guess the jokes on me, but I don't even know if there is an Indiana God that's a donkey... and if so, Holden definitely does not own any toys of said variety.

Plastic Guns
I remember a quote by Andy Warhol where he talked about how if you really love something, you want to be it. "...I love plastic. I want to be plastic," he said. Last week one of our dinner guests said "I love guns." (Awkward silence for humanity.)

Kim K
I hate that I like Kim Kardashian. I think it's because she's all curvy and dark...and because I secretly wished that my curves looked more like her curves instead of Grimace. It was reported that Reggie Bush (her beau) said he would propose if the Saints won the Superbowl. I do love Peyton Manning, as he was starting his career with the Colts when I was living in Indiana, but I'll have to go with the Saints this year. (If this sports-speak doesn't make sense to you, ask your husband...if you're my sister Cicely, ask my husband...because hers will be of no help. Also, Danny just looked over my shoulder and informed the engagement thing has no more merit.)

"I was running"
So I ran a 5 k this weekend in St George. At the starting line, I looked at Danny and said, "I kind of wish I would've trained."

I am having problems walking today. I am out of shape (obviously), but I plodded the whole 3.2 miles. FYI: Plodding is like jogging, but you can get passed by people speedwalking... or just walking, period... so I'm not really comfortable calling it running. Though if you filmed me, and watched it on fast forward, it might resemble something like running. I was just celebrating because I'm finally at a point where I don't have to ace bandage my stomach and chest to do aerobic activity.

Pump It, Pump It... Pum, Pump It Up!
The countdown is on. Seven more days and I ditch the Medela. If Holden was still 'latching,' I'd let him lead the weaning process. But he completely quit that at four moths...so I am looking forward to not being a Jersey Cow anymore. Hail Bessie the KJQ milkbeast.

In the Interest of Full Disclosure
Danny said it was actually Parowan, not Scipio. Just so we're straight on that...